STRONGER TOGETHER: My journey from grey area drinking to sober curious clarity

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses her personal journey from grey area drinking to becoming sober curious, highlighting how questioning her relationship with alcohol led to greater clarity, improved wellbeing, and a sense of empowerment through community and self-awareness.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

For most of my adult life, I lived in what’s known as the “grey area” of drinking, a term coined by Jolene Park to describe the space between social drinking and alcohol dependency. It’s where alcohol quietly begins to take more than it gives.

I didn’t drink daily, and from the outside, my habits seemed “normal.” But internally, I was operating in a state of chronic stress, with an overloaded nervous system that left me feeling tense and anxious. Alcohol became my shortcut to calm.

I was constantly negotiating with myself about drinking. It clashed with my otherwise healthy lifestyle, yet I kept setting rules, breaking them, and waking up with regret, even after “just one glass.” Because surely one wouldn’t hurt, right?

Grey area drinking often flies under the radar because it doesn’t fit the traditional narrative of addiction. Sarah Rusbatch, a certified Grey Area Drinking Coach, describes it as “the exhausting cycle of moderation, abstinence, and self-loathing,” where alcohol becomes a go-to for stress relief, celebration, or simply unwinding.

Her work helped me realise that I didn’t need to hit rock bottom or wear a label to want change. I just needed to listen to the quiet discomfort that had been growing louder; a deep awareness that the way I drank wasn’t working for me.

Becoming “sober curious” was my first step. I started questioning alcohol’s role in my life and exploring what it might feel like to live without it. I read Sarah’s book Beyond Booze and joined her 30-Day Alcohol-Free Challenge, unsure of what to expect.

What I discovered was a supportive community of women and a coach who offered guidance without judgment. Through her holistic approach, addressing nutrition, stress, and mindset, I felt empowered, not deprived. Letting go of alcohol wasn’t about restriction; it was about freedom.

I’m still early in my journey, but I’ve already noticed improved clarity, better sleep, and a deeper connection to myself. The internal chatter has quieted. I no longer feel the need to justify my choices.

The World Health Organisation reminds us that “it doesn’t matter how much you drink, the risk to an individual’s health starts from the first drop.”

If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, know that you’re not alone. Change is possible, without labels, shame, or rock bottoms. The sober community is bigger, stronger, and more welcoming than you might think.