STRONGER TOGETHER: Playing with Fire

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how anger, when managed properly, can be a powerful force for positive change and clarity, rather than a destructive force.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Anger is like fire. When handled well, it can fuel change, light a path, even warm us to action. But left unchecked, it scorches everything in its path. And if we try to smother it—pretend it’s not there, bury it under forced smiles and swallowed words—it doesn’t vanish. It smoulders beneath the surface, quietly burning holes in our wellbeing, our relationships, and our clarity.

We’re often taught to fear or avoid anger. But that flare of heat inside us is often a signal that something valuable is under threat. It might be a principle, a relationship, a limit that’s been tested. Anger invites us to pay attention. When we deny it, we risk missing the message.

It’s not about extinguishing or suppressing the flame. Nor should we let it rage uncontrollably. It’s about self-regulation. Just as firefighters use containment lines to manage a bushfire, we need to set boundaries and give our anger space to breathe.

That might mean pausing, stepping away to cool down, speaking honestly when you’re ready, or finding a physical outlet to release the tension before choosing your response. Movement—whether through conversation or motion—prevents the buildup that leads to explosion.

Clarity comes not in the middle of the blaze, but after the embers start to cool. In the space that follows anger, insight often arrives. What exactly set you off? Was it the situation—or what it represented? Sometimes it’s not the surface spark, but the deeper fuel that matters.

And that’s where the power lies—not in the heat itself, but in how we harness it. Anger can drive action. It can help us speak with conviction, stand firm in our values, and push for necessary change—but only when channelled effectively. The same fire that destroys acres of bush can also renew it, clearing space for fresh green shoots to emerge.

Let your fire be a force for clarity, courage, and change. Use it to light the path forward, not leave a trail of destruction.