STRONGER TOGETHER: Rewriting Your Story—Breaking Free from Negative Meaning Making

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how to break free from negative meaning making by recognising when it becomes unhelpful and using mindfulness practices to reframe experiences and foster resilience.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Last week, I delved into the concept of "meaning making"—the way we assign significance to life’s events, both good and bad. It’s a natural process, as we strive to understand our experiences and make sense of what happens to us. However, as I mentioned, while meaning making can help us find purpose, it can also lead to distress when we become too focused on negative interpretations.

Take, for example, someone overlooked for a promotion at work. They might begin to internalise this as personal failure, a sign that they are not good enough. In this case, meaning making leads to a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety, trapping them in a story that isn’t serving their mental wellbeing.

If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation—where your interpretation of an event is fuelling stress, frustration, or feelings of inadequacy—what can you do?

The first step is recognising when meaning making is becoming unhelpful. Pay attention to your internal dialogue—are you fixating on a narrative of blame, self-doubt, or hopelessness? If so, then it may be time to shift your focus. Instead of continuing to ask, "Why did this happen to me?" or "What does this mean for my future?" focus on the present. This doesn't mean dismissing your feelings, but rather stepping back and assessing whether your interpretation is contributing to your wellbeing or undermining it.

Mindfulness practices can help break the mental loop of negative thinking. In moments where the narrative isn’t serving you, try these steps to regain control of your thoughts:

• Focus on your breath: Taking a few deep breaths to centre yourself and pull focus from the negative story.
• Ground yourself: Notice your surroundings—what you hear, see, or feel in the moment. This shift helps relieve the burden of overthinking. This sensory experience can remind you that not everything hinges on past events or future worries.
• Practice gratitude: Even in disappointment, ask, “What can I appreciate right now?” Focusing on small positives can reframe your thinking.
• Take a mindful break: Step away for a moment. A pause, whether outside or quietly in your space, can reduce emotional intensity.

Now, let’s revisit the scenario of someone being overlooked for a promotion. Instead of viewing it as failure or ruminating on what they did wrong, the person could reframe it as an opportunity to reassess their career goals, gain new skills, or seek feedback. By letting go of the negative meaning, they can refocus on what’s within their control and use the experience as a springboard for growth. This shift in perspective frees them from the cycle of self-doubt and allows them to take steps toward their goals with renewed clarity.

In moments when meaning making isn’t serving you, it’s helpful to remember that life is full of twists and turns.  As Greek philosopher Heraclitus wisely said, “The only constant in life is change.” Though some changes may feel monumental, they are just moments in a longer journey. By accepting it, we learn resilience. And by embracing the present, we can find peace in knowing that we can handle whatever comes next—one moment at a time.