Positive Start Parenting participants learning with DRUMBEAT

A group of young parents recently took part in a therapeutic drumming program designed to facilitate the social and emotional skills for healthy relationships and values.

Seven IMPACT Community Services Positive Start Parenting participants took part in DRUMBEAT over a 10 week period. The program uses music, psychology and neurobiology to reconnect with self and others.

DRUMBEAT is an acronym for Discovering Relationships Using Music, Beliefs, Emotions, Attitudes, and Thoughts.

IMPACT’s Manager of Support Services, Sandra Higgins, said many lively discussions around the role of parents in children’s’ lives were facilitated over the course of the 10 weeks.

“This program was challenging at times, however a lot of laughing and fun made it all worthwhile,” she said.

“One of the plays we do is to drum how we feel at the start of the session and at the end of the session. Everyone is happier at the end after banging on the drums for an hour.”

Session 1 was The Rhythm of Parent – Child Relationships which looked at the patterns and impact on the relationship between the two. It proved that stable rhythms are safe rhythms, and that stable people form better relationships. Conflict between parents and their children can often be viewed as a clash of rhythms. The clients were taught the basic notes to use on the Djembe drum. They started learning the Listening Rhythm, the Heartbeat Rhythm and the Storm.

Session 2 was Developing Stronger Parent-Child Relationships which touched on healthy relationships, boundaries, values, good listening supports healthy parent – child relationships. We continued with the Listening Rhythm and touched on the Respect Rhythm.

Session 3 was Harmony in our Relationships. We looked at musical harmony using the Djembe drums, what factors help support family harmony, how the way we treat each other can improve harmony in the parent – child relationship. We completed learning the Listening Rhythm and the Respect Rhythm.

Session 4 was about Discipline and Parent – Child Relationship. Clear boundaries and link to values was discussed, role modelling, consistency and trust, compliance through understanding, communication and consequences.

Session 5 looked at Emotions and Feelings. Did you know there are 600 words in the English dictionary that describe feelings. Two-thirds of these are negative words! Parents need to be sensitive to children’s feelings and they can sometimes be misinterpreted which can lead to conflict. How we express our feelings is important, and some ways are healthier than others.  We practiced the Listening Rhythm and the Respect Rhythm.

Session 6 looked at Teamwork and the Family. We discussed the different teams that we are a part of as well as other teams that we enjoy. Healthy teams like families communicate well with each other and respect differences among their members. The clients started learning the Teamwork Rhythm and a lot of fun was had by the clients.

Session 7 was about Outside Influences on the Parent – Child Relationship. How do parents manage the peer relationships of their children, the impact of negative peer influence, parental acrimony and its impact on the child, bullying and working with the school system.

Sandra said: “The clients enjoyed a mini concert by working their way through all the rhythms and finally coming together in harmony. The participants had found their rhythm by the end of the program and received a certificate and most stated that they wanted to do it again next year!”

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses making a conscious effort to broaden your lens of society before judging others

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

A world of equality, where everybody has enough money and resources to feed themselves and their family, put a roof over their head and have money left over to cover clothes, education, and health expenses, is certainly a desired one; but far from reality.

In Australia 3.3 million people live below the poverty line – almost 14% of our population. While this isn’t an overnight fix, the judgement of people in certain situations can be.

Hearing stories from three incredibly resilient women recently, I noticed while their hardships and situations were different, they all mentioned feeling judged and isolated for deciding to work or not to work based on putting their family/children first.

These women didn’t ask for anyone’s help and they certainly didn’t need anyone’s judgement.

If you’ve read previous columns by me, you’ll remember the dot on the page exercise where you imagine a white page with a dot on it and reflect on what you see.

Did you focus solely on the dot? Did you consider the rest of the page and look at the big picture?

Some people make aspersions about others. They put people under the microscope like the dot; examining its colour, shape, size, position, wondering what’s wrong with it or what could change. We don’t always focus on the bigger picture – all the things going on in the white space. But it’s worth refocusing our view.

Personally, I applaud working mums, however juggling a career and children was easy for me. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by family I can lean for support if needed.

I’ve never been a single mum working four jobs to keep a roof over my children’s heads and food on the table; or stop working because my child required extra support; or eat toast for months to get the roof fixed. I do however know this happens all around us.

I also know that with less judgment and more compassion for the person we’ll stop fixating on the dot and find ways to better support these highly resilient and resourceful people. When we consider the space and people as whole individuals, whose stories have value, we start to connect with some of the real issues that people are experiencing in the world.   

Demographers and social scientists seem divided when it comes to the question of whether the Covid lockdown will lead to a baby boom.

But if there is a tsunami of 'Generation C’ babies, IMPACT Community Services will be ready.

IMPACT’s Positive Start parenting support program is for mums and dads or carers with children aged up to 12 (18 in special cases) who need a little help and support.

If you need advice, have a few questions or simply want to meet other parents in a relaxed supportive environment, then Positive Start is for you.

The service has a perinatal clinic for expectant mums, and a qualified midwife available to check on your baby’s progress.

The service is open for anyone, but it has proved especially helpful to younger or first-time mums.

Meanwhile, we have recently recommenced our weekly playgroup each Thursday morning. This means, parents can bring their bubs and get a little valuable respite and talk with other mums while their children play. We also have transport available for these playgroups.

And on Thursday, February 18 a Triple P seminar is scheduled. These seminars are a priceless education resource for parents provided in partnership with the Children’s Health Service.

“We have seen our parents achieve so much lately,” IMPACT’s Positive Start Team Leader Lesley Allen said.

“It is so great to support our parents to achieve their goals like getting a driving licence, or finding a job or gaining new parenting skills. It is so great to see their confidence and self-esteem grow.”

To find out how we can help you, call 4153 4233 or click here.

IMPACT Community Services’ new Team Leader for Positive Start parenting Lesley Allen knows she has found her dream job.

Lesley has worked at IMPACT for five years, several of those as a case manager with the Positive Start program, she can't imagine working anywhere else.

Lesley started at IMPACT as an employment advisor for Disability Employment Services, but she came from a nursing background, working 16 years with Australian Red Cross Blood Services.

She moved from the frontline to the Queensland Nurses Union for 6 months but found it wasn't for her.

“After about 35 years of nursing I was looking for something different, but that wasn't it,” Lesley said.

She moved to IMPACT and after a short stint with Disability Employment Services, Lesley then switched to the Personal Helpers and Mentors (PhaMs) program running at the time, working as a case worker for 14 months.

 “I enjoyed the roll because I was assisting people who needed support with their mental health to access community services and reconnect with marking friendships” she said.

Lesley was then asked to fill in as an acting program manager at Intensive Family Support (IFS). 

“I had completed a Diploma in Practice Management, intending to use it in a medical practice at some stage, but never got there” Lesley stated.

“So I had all the theory, but that role gave me a taste of what leadership is about, and an opportunity to support the team.”

After six months Lesley became a case manager in IFS, then found her true role with Positive Start; a parenting support program.

“When I was working at IFS, I would hear the babies and mothers laughing and playing next door, it’s then I figured that's where I'm meant to be,” she said.

“Even when I was working at the Red Cross, I was always the one who looked after the babies when mum was giving blood.”

IMPACT's Positive Start parenting support service is for mums and dads with children aged up to 18 to develop life and parenting skills, receive help and advice on available community services.

Lesley is grateful for IMPACT's support and freedom to try the different roles until she found where she was meant to be.

“Working at IMPACT has made me step out of my comfort zone,” she said.

Now she's team leader with Positive Start which involves managing caseloads and supporting Support Services manager Sandra Higgins.

“I'm very happy in this role,” she said.

“I would be very happy to see out my working life here.”