STRONGER TOGETHER: The invisible shield

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week, Tanya explores simple ways to stop other people's stress and negativity from weighing you down, including her "invisible shield" technique.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

There is something about this time of year that can make everything feel a little heavier. People are tired. Patience can be shorter. Workloads are high and Christmas becomes an artificial finish line, creating pressure to get everything done before the year ends.

And sometimes, other people's negativity, frustration or attitude can simply feel overwhelming.

For many years, I have used a simple technique that helps me enormously. I call it my invisible shield. I use it often in conversations. If someone is particularly negative, frustrated or overwhelmed by what is happening in their world, I consciously imagine putting an invisible shield around myself.

It's not about shutting them out.

I can listen. I can empathise. I can be present and help where I can. But the shield reminds me that I don't have to absorb someone else's negativity or make their problems my own.

That's particularly important at this time of year because negativity has a habit of travelling.

Someone else's frustration lands on us. We carry it into another conversation, take it home, replay it in our minds and, without realising it, potentially pass it on to someone else.

Over time, other people have shared their own strategies with me, and I've started incorporating some of them too. One is physically dusting off a difficult interaction. A simple brush of the shoulders can become a mental cue to leave that negativity where it belongs rather than carrying it forward.

Another person suggested using water. At the end of a difficult day, a shower can become more than just a physical reset. I now sometimes consciously imagine the negativity of the day washing away with the water.

I love that we can share these simple techniques with one another. What works for one person may sound unusual to someone else, but if it helps us protect our wellbeing and prevents negativity from spreading, perhaps it's worth trying.

None of these strategies mean avoiding difficult conversations or pretending problems don't exist. Difficult conversations are part of life and leadership.

The distinction is learning to deal with them without carrying them.

So, as the end-of-year pressure builds, perhaps it's worth creating your own invisible shield.

Listen. Empathise. Help where you can.

Then dust it off, wash it away and move forward.

We can't always choose the energy that comes towards us, but we can choose how much of it we carry with us.