STRONGER TOGETHER: From Chrysalis to Butterfly—Embracing the Magic of Becoming

Last updated:
16/04/2025

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the transformative and sacred process of personal growth, likening it to a butterfly's chrysalis stage, where stillness and inward reflection lead to profound change and the emergence of one's true self.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

There’s a quiet stage between being who you were and who you're becoming. A tender, hidden moment. In the life of a butterfly, it’s called the chrysalis—where the caterpillar wraps itself in stillness and begins an unseen, radical transformation.

As humans, we too go through our own chrysalis phases. Maybe you’ve just graduated from university and are now moving from the structured environment of school to the uncertainties of the working world. Or perhaps you’ve recently ended a long-term relationship, lost your job, or are facing a serious illness. Or maybe, you are considering changing jobs, preparing to let go of those feelings of attachment and comfort as you start planning your transition.

These moments—when one chapter ends and another begins—can be life-changing. Yet they can also leave us feeling like retreating, stepping back, uncertain, not quite caterpillar anymore, not yet butterfly. But inside, things are shifting. Shedding what no longer fits. Making room for wings.

Tara Mohr, a leader in women's wellbeing and creator of the Playing Big program, invites us to see this space not as stuck, but as sacred. A normal, necessary pause. It’s where vision begins to take shape. It’s where we ask: Who am I becoming? How does my future look? These questions need time, shelter, and compassion.

You can’t rush a chrysalis. You can only support it—by being gentle with yourself, by listening in, by trusting that something beautiful is on its way. Even if it feels like nothing is happening, ‘future you’ is forming.

This is the work of becoming: honouring the stillness, even when the world tells you to keep going. It’s deeply human to resist change, to grieve the comfort of the old skin. But staying inside the cocoon is not about hiding—it’s about healing. About aligning your inner world before you re-enter the outer one.

Visualising that future self is part of the magic. Picture yourself—wings spread, colours vivid, rising into what’s next with grace. It’s already within you, just waiting for the right moment to emerge.

So, if you’re in the in-between, know this: you’re not lost. There may be some blank spaces in your ‘future you’ canvas but be confident that with time and inward reflection, more fragments will start to appear. The next layer will form, and your visions for what is next, will become clear. Your transition, your ‘chrysalis time’ will be complete.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how Michelangelo's approach to creating the statue of David by removing excess material can inspire us to refine our own lives by letting go of what no longer serves us.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Standing beneath the awe-inspiring ceiling of the Sistine Chapel more than a decade ago, I felt a profound sense of wonder wash over me. The vibrant frescoes, each brushstroke meticulously crafted by Michelangelo, seemed to come alive, telling stories of creation and divinity.

In that moment, surrounded by the whispers of history and the magnificence of his work, I was both humbled and inspired. The dazzling complexity and beauty in his murals left me with a lasting sense of awe and wonder.

At the time, I was captivated by the grandeur but didn’t truly appreciate the depth of his mastery and intention. Like many, I associated Michelangelo mainly with the Sistine Chapel ceiling, forgetting that he was also accomplished in drawing and poetry, and the sculptor behind the iconic statue of David.

Over the years, my appreciation for Michelangelo has deepened—particularly in how he approached the creation of David. He didn't build it by adding; he revealed it by removing. His genius lay not only in what he created, but in what he chose to let go.

Too often, we equate growth and success with accumulation— more money, more time, more assets, more clothes, more friendships, more skills, more experiences. But Michelangelo reminds us that refinement and clarity often come from subtraction. By chiselling away everything that wasn’t David, he uncovered something extraordinary.

This idea mirrors our own paths to personal growth. What beliefs, habits, or distractions no longer serve your purpose? What parts of your life might need to be chipped away to reveal the best version of yourself?

Michelangelo's legacy isn’t just in what he left behind, but in how he lived—committed to learning, pushing boundaries, and surrounding himself with brilliance, even when it meant facing discomfort or fierce rivalry with other prominent artists, including Leonardo da Vinci. Unlike most Renaissance artists, he extended his drawing to include detailed anatomy, often featuring persuasive nudity that was considered unorthodox and unconventional at the time.

His life reminds us that self-improvement isn't about becoming someone else but revealing who we truly are beneath the noise. So, using Michelangelo as your inspiration, ask yourself: what needs to be let go—not to diminish who you are, but to uncover your own masterpiece?

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the multifaceted nature of health, emphasising the importance of balancing physical, mental, emotional, and social wellbeing, and encourages daily commitment to self-care for a fulfilling life, not just on World Health Day, but every day.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Would you consider yourself to be healthy? It seems like a simple question, but the answer is often more complex than it appears. World Health Day, observed on 7 April, is an opportunity to reflect on what it really means to be healthy.

When we think about health, physical wellbeing is often the first thing that comes to mind—being free from illness, eating well, and staying active. But true health extends far beyond just the physical.

Our mental, emotional, and social wellbeing also play crucial roles in our overall quality of life. Loneliness, stress, and burnout can erode wellbeing, even in those who otherwise appear physically well.

Good health is about balance—feeling strong in our bodies, connected in our relationships, and resilient in our minds. It’s about allowing time for recovery, much like charging a battery. Just as a battery needs to be recharged to function at its best, our minds and bodies need time to restore their physical, emotional, and psychological capacities. This recovery provides us with the energy to do what we love, the capacity to handle life's challenges, and fuels the complex biological support systems that keep us well.

Health and wellbeing should never be taken for granted. It can change in an instant, through illness, injury, or unexpected life circumstances. Too often, however, we only prioritise our health when faced with a crisis.

But what if we made it a daily commitment? Small, consistent choices—getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, staying active, managing stress, and seeking support when needed—can have a profound impact over time.

This World Health Day, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally? Are you taking care of yourself in the ways that matter most?

Health isn’t just something to focus on once a year. It’s a lifelong investment—one that is well worth making, every single day.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how true happiness is cultivated through caring, sharing, and building strong social connections.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Yesterday, the world celebrated the International Day of Happiness, a reminder that true happiness is not just a personal pursuit—it thrives in the connections we build and the kindness we share. This year’s theme, Caring and Sharing, highlights something we often overlook in our fast-paced lives: happiness flourishes when we lift each other up.

I was reminded of this recently when a colleague shared a story about her elderly neighbour. Once active in the community, he had grown isolated after his wife passed away. One day, my colleague simply stopped for a chat while walking past his home. That small act of kindness turned into regular check-ins, shared cups of tea, and even a neighbourhood effort to involve him in local events. The change in him was profound—he smiled more, started gardening again, and even joined a community group.

The difference? Someone cared. Someone shared their time.

This is the essence of happiness. Research backs this up—acts of kindness boost not just the recipient’s wellbeing but also our own. Strong social connections reduce stress, improve mental health, and even contribute to longer lives.

In our workplaces, schools, and communities, we have daily opportunities to embody this theme. A kind word to a colleague, volunteering for a local cause, checking in on a friend—these small moments matter. They build resilience, strengthen relationships, and create a ripple effect of positivity.

Happiness isn’t a distant goal; it’s something we cultivate through care and connection. As we move forward from this International Day of Happiness, let’s remember: the more we share, the more happiness we create—not just for others, but for ourselves.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how our minds often distort reality based on past experiences and unconscious beliefs, and she encourages us to question and rewrite these narratives to live more authentically and compassionately.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

“We live in a house of mirrors and think we are looking out the window.”

This quote by German psychiatrist Fritz Perls is a gentle reminder that our minds can distort our perception of reality. We often believe we are seeing the world as it is, when in truth, we are seeing reflections of ourselves—our past experiences, beliefs, and unconscious biases.

I can sense a deep pause, so it might be good to provide a bit more context.

Think back to when you were five years old. Imagine you were dressing yourself for a family outing and proudly chose your favourite outfit. But when your mother glanced at you while on the phone, her face appeared stern. You interpreted her expression as disappointment or disapproval. Deflated, you changed clothes, assuming she disliked your choice. Later, when she found you undressed, her frustration escalated, and she snapped, telling you to stop being silly. From that moment, a belief took root: I make bad choices. I am stupid.

But what if the truth had nothing to do with you? What if your mother’s expression reflected her stress about the phone call, not your outfit? This is how introjects—beliefs we inherit from others without question—form. As children, we absorb messages from parents, teachers, and society, internalising them as absolute truths. Over time, these messages shape our self-perception and behaviour, often without us realising it.

Introjects can be helpful, like learning kindness or perseverance, but they can also be limiting. A childhood comment about being “too sensitive” might lead you to suppress emotions. A teacher’s offhand remark about your abilities might convince you that you’re not smart enough. These beliefs become part of an unconscious rulebook that dictates how we respond to challenges, relationships, and self-worth.

To break free, start questioning your inner rulebook. When you feel stuck, ask yourself: What belief is at play here? Where did it come from? Does it still serve me? Examining and rewriting these inherited narratives allows you to step beyond the mirror and truly see through the window—to experience life with clarity, authenticity, and self-compassion.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the importance of accelerating action for women's equality by valuing the contributions of women of all ages and dismantling ageism in the workforce.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

With International Women's Day 2025 being celebrated tomorrow, 8 March, I find myself reflecting on this year's theme — Accelerate Action for women's equality — through the lens of my own life and the evolving role of women in the workforce throughout my career.

As a fan of generational and gender expert Avivah Wittenberg-Cox’s ‘4-Quarter Lives’ podcast, I find myself currently in Quarter 3, The Becoming. This quarter is about finding ways to leverage and contribute the skills and experience accumulated over decades, in the face of a still ageist world reticent to value them. As careers stretch from 30-year sprints to 50-year marathons, ‘Becoming’ is about investing more time in careers or causes that align to our purpose and values.

Too often, conversations about gender equality focus on younger generations, overlooking the immense contribution of women who have spent years honing their skills, building relationships, and quietly breaking down barriers. By 2050, workers aged 55 and over are expected to make up about 40% of the adult population in Australia – a statistic that has risen significantly as a result of women re-entering work in mid-life and delaying retirement.

Ageism is one of the most pervasive — and invisible — forms of discrimination women (and men) face. Ageism can have a profound impact on employment, confidence, health, quality of life and control over life decisions. It can limit us from participating in our community and has demonstrated effects on physical health and longevity. The assumption that experience equates to stagnation rather than wisdom undermines the progress we seek to accelerate. This wasted potential is a loss not just for women, but for society as a whole.

A truly equitable future values a multigenerational workforce, where the knowledge and insight of seasoned professionals sit alongside fresh perspectives. Australia must do better. As a nation, we need to acknowledge and dismantle remaining barriers to health, care, training, discrimination and work conditions, and support employers and industry to design strategies to attract and retain a diverse workforce. This isn't about clinging to relevance — it's about recognising that diversity of age, like any other form of diversity, strengthens organisations and communities.

As Hilary Clinton so aptly said, "Women are the largest untapped reservoir of talent in the world." That reservoir includes women of every age, not just those at the start of their careers.

This International Women's Day, let's challenge the biases that sideline women as they grow older. Let's accelerate action by fostering workplaces where experience is celebrated, not overlooked — and where every woman, at every stage of life, knows she still has something valuable to contribute.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how true productivity is more about managing one's mind and energy rather than one's time.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

In today's fast-paced world, productivity is often equated with efficient time management. However, a deeper look reveals that true productivity hinges more on mind management than merely juggling schedules and to-do lists. This perspective shift is crucial for anyone striving to enhance their output and achieve their goals.

The traditional approach to productivity involves meticulous planning, scheduling, and the use of various time-management tools. While these methods provide a semblance of order, they often fall short in addressing the root cause of unproductivity: our behaviour and mindset.

As humans, we have an innate desire for certainty. In fact, studies have shown our brains would prefer a certainly negative outcome than uncertainty. This drives us to create structured plans and routines.

However, the unpredictable nature of work, especially in leadership roles, demands a balance between order and chaos. Embracing this balance is where mind management comes into play. It involves cultivating the energy and focus needed to tackle unfamiliar tasks and navigate uncertainties without becoming overwhelmed.

Energy fuels our ability to engage with challenging tasks, while focus ensures we see them through to completion. This dynamic duo is essential for maintaining productivity, especially when faced with the unknown. However, the fear and anxiety that can accompany uncertainty can drain our energy, reduce our ability to focus and contribute to an ongoing cycle of unproductivity and overwhelm.

Reframing can be useful when faced with stress, however it will require practice and consistency to master this valuable technique.  Perhaps you have a presentation coming up, and you are feeling anxious about it. Instead of thinking "I'm so nervous, I can’t do this," you could reframe your self-talk and instead tell yourself (and others) "this is such a great opportunity - I'm excited to be able to share my ideas."

By reframing the narrative, we can harness the physiological benefits of anxiety, such as increased alertness and energy, and use it to our advantage when tackling uncertain or stressful situations. Through mastering our minds, we can break free from the constraints of traditional time management and unlock our true potential. So, embrace the uncertainty, channel your energy and focus, and watch your productivity soar.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how a small act of kindness can create a ripple effect, inspiring others and fostering a culture of empathy and generosity.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

A few years ago, a friend shared a simple but powerful story with me. She was having a particularly rough morning—running late, juggling too many things, and feeling anxious about being underprepared for her day.

As she raced into a local café to grab a coffee, she could feel the sense of overwhelm suddenly ballooning within her. She took a moment to calm herself, placed her order and when she went to pay, the barista handed her a cup and said, “It’s covered. The person ahead of you paid for it.”

Surprised, she suddenly realised that a stranger had noticed that she was struggling – they didn’t need to know who she was, her story or the reason behind her struggle. In that moment, all that mattered was the kindness that was shown by that one small gesture.

Inspired, she paid for the next person’s order, and as she left, she noticed that her sense of overwhelm had melted away and she was suddenly smiling to herself. That small, unexpected gesture shifted her outlook for the entire day, and she knew deep inside her, that her small act had the potential do the same for someone else.

This is the power of kindness—one small act can spark another, creating a Kindness Ripple far beyond what we can see.

As Amelia Earhart once said: "No kind action ever stops with itself…The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves."

This sentiment is at the heart of Random Acts of Kindness Day (17 February 2025).

It's easy to underestimate the profound impact a single act of kindness can have. What may seem like a fleeting moment to one person can be a turning point for another, inspiring them to do the same for someone else.

Over time, these seemingly simple actions build a culture of kindness, creating workplaces, communities, and relationships that are stronger and more connected.

And the beauty of kindness is that it doesn’t require grand gestures or deep pockets. A compliment, a helping hand, or a moment of patience can make all the difference.

Kindness fosters collaboration and trust in professional settings, leading to increased productivity and job satisfaction.

It strengthens relationships and deepens human connection in personal life, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual respect.

In society, kindness bridges gaps and builds understanding, creating a more compassionate and cohesive community.

When we practice kindness, we contribute to a world where empathy and generosity are the norms rather than the exceptions.

So, this Random Acts of Kindness Day, consider how you can create your own ‘Kindness Ripple’.

Whether it’s through a small, spontaneous gesture or a deliberate act of generosity, your kindness will not stop with you—it will grow, inspire, and take on a life of its own.

And remember, kindness is something we can practice every day, not just on special occasions. Because the greatest impact of kindness is that it makes others kind themselves.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the importance of integrity in professional settings, emphasising that true integrity is about aligning actions with values, even in small, quiet moments of hesitation.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

The email was ready. All she had to do was hit “send,” and the report would be off her desk and out of her hands. Yet she hesitated. It wasn’t that the report contained untruths—more like some omissions.

Her boss had reassured her it wasn’t a big deal; the client just needed to see progress. But something didn’t sit right. She hesitated, rereading the content, knowing that sending the report as it was would be misleading.

When faced with a choice like this, between what’s easy and what’s right, what would you do?

It was a small moment, an easy decision to justify. But that’s the thing about integrity—it rarely announces itself in grand gestures. More often, it’s found in quiet moments of hesitation, in the split-second choices between what’s right and what’s convenient.

Integrity isn’t just about honesty; it’s about consistency. It’s aligning actions with values, even when no one is watching. It’s keeping your word, owning mistakes, and speaking up when something isn’t right.

It is not about doing what’s popular, avoiding conflict, or bending the truth to fit a narrative. It’s not making excuses, blaming others, or staying silent when something is clearly wrong.

Of course, integrity isn’t always easy. We live in a world that often rewards shortcuts and values success at any cost. In some workplaces, silence is expected, and ethical lapses are overlooked in favour of results. The pressure to conform, to protect one’s job, or to stay in someone’s good graces can make compromise tempting.

But while cutting corners might bring short-term gains, the long-term cost is steep: credibility, trust, and self-respect.

Often the most respected professionals and leaders aren’t necessarily the most successful on paper—they’re the ones known for their character. People may forget achievements, but they remember who they could trust.

So how do we cultivate integrity? It starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself:

In the end, integrity is the foundation of trust, the currency of strong relationships, and the mark of a truly principled professional. It isn’t just about how others see us—it’s about how we see ourselves.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how adopting a scientific mindset of curiosity and adaptability can help us navigate life more effectively by challenging our assumptions and remaining open to new ideas and experiences.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

In our daily lives, we often operate under a set of assumptions and hypotheses shaped by our upbringing, societal norms, family expectations, and personal experiences. These assumptions can range from how we believe people should behave to what we expect our lives to look like.

While these mental frameworks can provide a sense of stability and predictability, they can also lead to a fixed mindset, limiting our openness to new ideas and experiences.

Consider the assumptions we make about others. For instance, you might believe that a colleague should always be punctual, so when this colleague arrives late, it can be easy to feel frustrated or disappointed.

However, rather than rigidly adhering to this expectation, it's important to remain open and compassionate. What if this person had a personal crisis before work or was involved in a car accident? By considering these possibilities, we can respond with understanding and empathy, rather than judgment.

Similarly, societal and familial expectations can heavily influence our life choices. From a young age, we are often influenced by both implicit and explicit messages about what defines success, happiness, and fulfillment—such as finishing school, going to university or getting a trade, securing a full-time job, getting married, buying a house, and having children.

These messages can shape our career paths, relationships, and even our self-worth. Adhering too strictly to these external expectations, however, can prevent us from exploring alternative paths that might be more aligned with our true selves.

Intrinsically, it can also manifest into feelings of inadequacy, increased stress, and even result in symptoms associated with mental health issues like anxiety and depression. By being overly focused on meeting others’ expectations, we may neglect our own needs and desires, leading to a diminished sense of self-worth and overall wellbeing.

To navigate life more effectively, it can be helpful to adopt a mindset akin to that of a scientist, who develops and tests hypotheses with an open mind, formulating assumptions based on initial observations, before carefully undertaking an experiment and analysing the collated data.

When the results do not align with their initial assumptions, they report their findings, continuing to refine their theories to better reflect reality. This approach demonstrates a genuine willingness to adjust their understanding based on new evidence.

This iterative process of hypothesising, testing and adjusting can also be a valuable model for our personal lives. Applying this approach may help us to be more open and appreciate that often our assumptions are simply flexible guardrails rather than rigid beliefs that require validation or support by others.

Perhaps you followed a particular career path because it was revered by family, and you thought it would bring you happiness - but it doesn’t. Being open to new opportunities may create purpose and lead you to more fulfilling opportunities.

So, while assumptions and hypotheses are a natural part of human cognition, it’s essential to embrace a mindset of curiosity and adaptability.

Just as scientists refine their theories based on new evidence, we too can benefit from remaining open-minded and flexible in our thinking. By adopting this approach, we can better navigate the complexities of our world, leading to a more fulfilling, and purpose-driven life.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how embracing our mortality can motivate us to focus on what truly matters, leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Death is a topic we rarely discuss openly, yet its inevitability is a reality we all must face. Denial or avoidance does not alter this fact. For many, mortality often feels like a distant, almost abstract concept, something for our 'future selves' to confront. Yet, embracing our mortality can profoundly influence our behaviours and priorities, empowering us to live more meaningful and fulfilling lives.

In 2009, I commenced my honours thesis examining gambling behaviours, more specifically whether being more aware of your own mortality would increase a person’s urge to gamble. This research opened my own mind to just how differently individuals react when mortality is discussed. There is no doubt that being aware of our own mortality is confronting, yet people react quite differently when faced with it. For some, reflecting on our own mortality is too challenging and they prefer not to think or talk about it. For others, it acts as a powerful motivator.

When we recognise that our time is limited, there is an increased likelihood that we will prioritise what truly matters. Instead of getting caught up in trivial concerns or future anxieties, we become more attuned to the here and now, cherishing our relationships, passions, and experiences. We begin to appreciate the ordinary moments that make up our days. Simple pleasures, like a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a walk in the park, become precious.

Research supports this notion. Studies in the field of psychology suggest that contemplating our mortality can enhance our focus on intrinsic goals—those that are inherently rewarding, such as personal growth, relationships, and community involvement—over extrinsic goals like wealth, fame, or status. This shift can lead to greater life satisfaction and wellbeing.

However, sustaining this focus on what truly matters can be challenging especially when daily responsibilities—managing work, finances, schedules, home, and family commitments—often take precedence over being present.

To counteract this, we can cultivate habits that keep us grounded in the present, such as:

Accepting our mortality can profoundly change the way we live. By embracing the reality of death, we can become more empowered, grateful, and present, while also ensuring we are living our values and making a positive difference on the people and world around us.

As the saying goes, "Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, today is a gift." So, let's cherish each moment and strive to live in a way that reflects what truly matters to us.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the importance of taking small, consistent steps towards achieving long-term goals, as highlighted by her conversation with Mat Grills on the IMPACT’s Stronger Together podcast.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Mat Grills for the latest episode of IMPACT’s Stronger Together podcast. Mat is a family man, ultramarathon runner, business owner, community advocate, and all-around local legend. Our conversation was wide-ranging, from health and wellbeing, vegan diets, and training, to careers, time management, overcoming setbacks, and tattoos, but the one theme that truly resonated with me was the importance of taking small steps and repeating them consistently.

Mat shared his insights on how consistency is the foundation of success in any area of life, whether it’s business, athletics, or personal growth. He emphasised that showing up every day, even when it’s challenging, is crucial to achieving long-term goals. “You will not get results, and you won't achieve anything if you do something for a week or a month or six months. Anything worthwhile, you need to be consistent,” Mat explained.

This principle of consistency is something I have experienced firsthand. When I started my gym training, I began with simple resistance bands from Kmart. It took me 12 months of consistent effort before I felt ready to invest in a full home gym. This gradual build-up not only strengthened my physical fitness but also ingrained a habit of perseverance and dedication.

Mat also highlighted the significance of small steps. In a society that often glorifies quick fixes and overnight success, it’s easy to overlook the power of incremental progress. Mat’s approach to coaching new runners is a testament to this. For those that haven't run in some time, he encourages them to start with a five-minute walk or even just putting on their running shoes without leaving the house. Many question it, but he encourages them to “trust the process and start with small steps.” This philosophy extends beyond athletics to all areas of life, including business.

When Mat decided to open a coffee shop, he set a goal to do one or two small tasks each day towards that objective. Whether it was making a phone call, sending an email, or jotting down an idea, these daily actions accumulated over time, leading to the successful launch of his business. “These small steps and daily practices add up over time. Before you know it, you’re that much further down the road,” Mat explained.

In our community services organisation, we often see individuals feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenges in front of them. The fear of failure or the uncertainty of where to start can be paralysing. This is why we advocate for picking one small thing to focus on. This approach not only reduces overwhelm but also creates a ripple effect, gradually transforming other areas of life.

As we embark on a new year, let’s embrace the power of taking that first step, no matter how small. Consistency and small steps may seem simple, but they are the building blocks of lasting change and achievement. Reflecting on Mat’s journey and my own experiences, I am reminded that progress is not always about giant leaps but about the steady, unwavering commitment to taking baby steps—just putting one foot in front of the other.

So, whether you’re starting a new fitness routine, launching a business, or pursuing personal growth, remember that big dreams are built from small beginnings. Doing one small thing every day to take you a step closer towards your goal is important. Trust the process, stay consistent, be patient and celebrate the progress you make along the way. In time, you’ll look back and realise just how far you’ve come.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the emotional roots of procrastination and introduces the “5, 5 or 5” tool as a practical strategy to overcome it.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

We've all been there – the looming task, the weight of responsibility, yet the feeling of being stuck, unable to get started. It’s a common scenario, yet one that often comes with a sense of guilt or frustration. Why do we procrastinate? And more importantly, what can we do to overcome the inertia that holds us back? Let’s explore the reasons behind procrastination and some practical strategies to reignite motivation, starting with a powerful tool that can help you break the cycle of delay.

The Emotional Underpinnings of Procrastination

Procrastination isn’t just about poor time management or laziness; it’s often deeply tied to emotions. Fear, perfectionism, self-doubt, and even past experiences can all fuel the procrastination habit. When faced with a task, especially one that feels overwhelming or emotionally charged, the brain seeks comfort and safety. It may choose avoidance as a defence mechanism. The discomfort of beginning a task, or the anxiety over its potential outcome, can be enough to make even the most motivated person freeze.

The brain’s resistance to discomfort can trigger a cycle of avoidance, making it even harder to start. Over time, this can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and frustration, which only further deepen the procrastination pattern. The question then becomes: how do we break this cycle?

The 5, 5 or 5 Tool: A Simple Way to Overcome Procrastination

One of the most effective strategies for overcoming procrastination comes from Rebekah Ballagh’s book 101 Ways to Find Calm. In it, she presents the 5, 5 or 5 tool, a simple but powerful method designed to counter procrastination and overwhelm. This tool helps by breaking tasks into manageable chunks, creating small wins, and giving you permission to start small.

5 Seconds – Act Immediately

When you think about a positive action, such as tackling a task, give yourself five seconds to act. Research shows that when you delay taking action, your brain starts rationalising reasons to avoid it. The simple act of counting down from five and starting the task immediately helps you bypass that mental resistance. It might not feel easy, but the sense of achievement and progress you’ll experience after acting quickly is incredibly rewarding. By acting swiftly, you disrupt the cycle of procrastination and create momentum.

5 Things – Break Tasks into Small Steps

When you’re faced with a daunting to-do list, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and paralysed by the sheer volume of work ahead. The 5 Things approach helps by breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Instead of focusing on the big picture, commit to completing just five things. This method makes the task feel less intimidating and often generates the momentum needed to continue. Even if you don’t finish everything on your list, five steps forward is a step in the right direction.

5 Minutes – Start Small and Give Yourself Permission to Stop

One of the most common barriers to motivation is the thought that you have to commit hours to a task before you can take a break. This fear of long, drawn-out work sessions often leads to procrastination. The 5 Minutes rule helps you overcome this. Promise yourself that you will work for just five minutes, and then give yourself permission to stop. Often, once you start, the task becomes easier, and you may be motivated to continue beyond the five-minute mark. If not, you’ve still made progress – and five minutes is better than none.

Moving Beyond Procrastination

Procrastination is a complex issue that often goes beyond simple laziness. It’s rooted in our emotional responses to tasks and the discomfort we feel around them. The 5, 5 or 5 tool offers a structured way to break the cycle, making it easier to start and continue working, even when motivation feels out of reach. Whether you’re dealing with perfectionism, fear of failure, or a mountain of tasks, this tool can help you create the momentum needed to get back on track.

So, next time you find yourself stuck, remember you don’t have to conquer everything all at once. Just take five seconds, five steps, or five minutes, and see where it takes you.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the importance of letting go of old habits, negative emotions, and limiting beliefs to make room for new growth and opportunities in the new year.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

As we usher in a new year, there’s an inherent sense of renewal and possibility in the air. It’s a time to reflect on the past and consider what we’ve been carrying—emotionally, mentally, and even physically. While we often focus on adding new habits, goals, or achievements, this year, the most powerful action we can take may be to let go of what no longer serves us.

“Letting go” is a deceptively simple concept, but in practice, it can be harder than it seems. We tend to cling to things that hold us back—old habits, negative emotions, limiting beliefs, and relationships that no longer nurture us. These attachments can feel like weights, subtly pulling us down, but because they’re familiar, we continue to carry them.

The idea of "letting go" sounds easy enough: simply release the grip. However, letting go is much more nuanced than that. It requires not just releasing something physically, but also understanding why we hold on in the first place.

To help you explore this, try the following exercise for “Letting Go”:

  1. Grab something you can hold in your hand—a small plant, a stone, or any object.
  2. Wrap your hand tightly around it and repeat these instructions to yourself: "Do not let this go." "Hold on tightly." "Do not allow my grip to loosen."
  3. Keep holding for one minute, focusing on the sensation of your grip.
  4. Now, release it. Drop it. Immediately.

What do you notice? Is there a lingering sensation in your hand, a reminder of what you just held on to? Did you hesitate before letting go, even for just a moment? Was there a part of you that wanted to keep holding on, even after you made the decision to release it?

This exercise, inspired by 101 Ways to Find Calm by Rebekah Ballagh, demonstrates a powerful aspect of letting go. It's not just about the physical act of releasing; it’s about understanding the emotional imprint left behind.

When we let go of people, habits, or emotions, we often feel a similar tug—a hesitation, resistance, or a sense of loss—even when we know deep down that it's time to move forward.

As you reflect on this, ask yourself some important questions:

It’s crucial to remember that "what we resist, persists." The more we cling to something out of fear, guilt, or habit, the more tightly it holds us in its grip. “Letting go” isn’t about force—it’s about giving yourself permission to release what no longer serves you, with grace and compassion. The emotions that arise in this process—whether they’re fear, sadness, or even relief—are all valid. Give yourself space to feel them and move through them at your own pace.

This year, as you embark on your journey of growth, don’t just focus on adding new things to your life. Focus on what you’re ready to let go of. By clearing away the dead wood, you’ll make room for healthier habits, more fulfilling relationships, and fresh opportunities to take root and flourish in 2025.

"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how the relentless pursuit of perfection has infiltrated every aspect of our lives, especially during the festive season, and advocates for embracing “enoughness” and celebrating small victories as we move into the new year.

By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea

Tanya O'Shea, IMPACT Community Services Managing Director

Perfection has become a relentless pursuit, and in many ways, it has overtaken our cultural narrative. What was once a personal ambition has now morphed into a widespread societal expectation, infiltrating every facet of our lives.

Extremism in the quest for flawless outcomes—whether in our careers, appearances, or relationships—has gone mainstream. Now, more than ever, the bar for success seems impossibly high, and for many, it feels like "good enough" just isn’t enough anymore.

This pressure reaches a peak over the festive season, a time traditionally meant for rest, reflection, and connection. But today, the holidays have become another stage for perfectionism.

From idealised family gatherings to the pursuit of the perfect New Year’s resolution, the stakes seem higher than ever. The idea of starting fresh in the new year has become less about small, realistic changes and more about dramatic, immediate transformations.

It’s not enough to just improve; the expectation is that we must radically overhaul our lives in pursuit of an unattainable perfection.

Social pressures play a significant role in perpetuating this cycle. The expectation to have the perfect holiday experience is reinforced by media portrayals and societal norms. Advertisements and social media posts often depict idealised versions of the holidays, creating unrealistic benchmarks that many feel compelled to meet.

Whether it’s the perfect family photo, the ideal gift, or the flawless holiday dinner, the imagery of the "perfect" holiday season is omnipresent. This can lead to a sense of failure or inadequacy when reality inevitably falls short of these lofty ideals.

At the heart of this drive lies a deeper emotional current—insecurities, fears, and anxieties that often go unspoken. Perfectionism becomes a way to avoid facing vulnerability, a way to mask those feelings of self-doubt and fear of judgment.

When we constantly compare ourselves to idealised versions of others, as seen on social media or in advertising, the pressure to perform perfectly becomes all-consuming. These unrealistic standards leave little room for the quiet power of moderation or the acceptance of "good."

This obsession with perfection doesn’t just harm our mental health—it distorts our understanding of progress. Social media and consumer culture have taught us that success must be extreme, that even small victories are insignificant unless they can be showcased in grand, flawless displays.

And as we approach the new year, these expectations feel even more pressing. The idea that we must completely transform ourselves, our lives, and our relationships in a matter of days is not only exhausting—it’s damaging.

As we move into 2025, it’s important to recognise that "good enough" is not a failure. It’s an acknowledgment of our humanity, of the fact that growth, progress, and happiness don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful.

Let’s make this year about letting go of extremism and instead embracing ‘enoughness’, celebrating moments of calm, and enjoying the small, everyday victories that truly define success.

Please note: This website may contain references to, or feature images, videos, and voices of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have passed away.

envelopephonemap-marker icon-angle icon-bars icon-times
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram