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"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the concept of the "rethinking cycle", coined by organisational psychologist Adam Grant. It's about acknowledging what we don’t know, irrespective of our expertise on a particular subject, and paves the way for recapturing our childlike curiosity to learn more about the things we don’t know.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Sometimes, there are barriers that prevent us from doing the things that we really want to do. Maybe it is applying for that dream job, joining a gym or sporting team, or perhaps even asking someone out for a coffee. My thing is writing a book. And my belief (the barrier) is that while I know writing a book IS possible and within my capability, I keep staggering at the starting line because 1) I don’t know exactly what I want to write about, 2) I get concerned about how much value my book will create for the reader and 3) I think that I need to be completely prepared and ready to go with all the information before getting started.
This response is probably something that others can relate to, given that many of us have experienced moments in time when we have sensed an opportunity and then stalled – shelving it until the planets have aligned.
The reality is that the planets will rarely deliver the things that we want until we are ready to do the work. Prepared to take that first courageous step and accept that we will learn what we need to along the way. Willing to learn through experience, and a process of unlearning and relearning as we develop and grow. This rethinking cycle unfolds with intellectual humility at its core.
According to organisational psychologist Adam Grant, acknowledging what we don’t know, irrespective of our expertise on a particular subject, paves the way for doubting our convictions and cultivates curiosity about learning more about those things that we don’t know.
Others behave quite differently. Their path is one of remaining steadfast to what is known, diligently sharing their pearls of wisdom, and doubling down on their area of expertise in a way that leads them to consider themselves experts in their chosen field. Grant would describe this as the overconfidence cycle, where people are proud of what they know, and are willing to share it with anyone who will listen. This can lead to an unwarranted confidence that sets the stage for confirmation bias, propelling individuals to only seek out information that aligns to their worldview, and results in a closed loop of validation that intensifies their pride for what they know.
Children approach the world so differently to adults. Their approach is one of wonder, curiosity, and an eagerness to experience and learn. Their minds are open, devoid of the overconfidence and fixed worldviews that can come with age and experience. So often caught up in overconfidence and a need for validation, as adults we can close the door to the very curiosity that once defined our early years.
The rethinking cycle, as advocated by Grant, invites us to recapture that childlike curiosity. It begins with acknowledging our intellectual limitations and embracing the doubts that accompany them. Rather than viewing new knowledge as a declaration of expertise, it becomes a humble acknowledgment of our progress in an expansive universe of information.
Imagine a world where every new breakthrough, every learning experience, was not the benchmark for the culmination of knowledge. What if instead it was a symbol of the vastness of what remains to be explored. The rethinking cycle invites us into this world of discovery, emboldening us to nudge open the door and foster a mindset that eagerly anticipates the next stage of progress. Encourages us to be brave, and ready to venture into the unknown.
My bold step has been to join the Expert Author Community, where I am surrounded by published authors (kind of scary but very cool), and others like me, who are prepared to join with one simple idea. Willing to be patient and explore the world through a lens of curiosity and openness, knowing that the storyline will develop over time. How about you? Do you have beliefs that are holding you back from doing the things that you really want to do?
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya reflects on the past year, recalling the moments that sparked joy, challenges overcome, and unexpected sources of inspiration that can serve as the impetus for meaningful change in 2024.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As we approach the start of a new year, the customary rush to set (often over-) ambitious resolutions can overshadow the transformative potential found in a moment of reflection. Before plunging headlong into the hustle of 2024, let's engage in a thoughtful pause, guided by three simple yet profound questions: What experiences brought joy and fulfilment to you over the last 12 months? What truly energised you? How can you integrate these positive elements into your plans for the coming year?
Reflection on the past year is more than a ritual; it's a powerful exercise in self-awareness. Recalling the moments that sparked joy, the challenges we overcame, and the unexpected sources of inspiration can guide our path forward. Whether it was a work project that ignited passion, a newfound hobby, or moments spent with loved ones, these are the building blocks of a purposeful life.
When reflecting on the last 12 months, my personal moments of joy and challenge were not linked to an award or performance. The moments that lit me up were the belly laughs that I have had after my husband shared stories from his day. The day that my son moved in with his partner, and seeing the love and attention that he shows towards her. Spending time in the garden and watching our plants and vegs thrive, and the thrill I get from sharing our harvest with family and friends. Hitting every workout that was planned and debunking my GP’s diagnosis that I will never hike or do long distance walks again. The day our vet told me that our beautiful ageing dogs were doing okay, and even though their hearts aren’t great, they were not in pain and were still enjoying life.
These moments, genuinely fuel my sense of purpose and connection, and are the building blocks that create the resilience to overcome challenges when they come my way. They also pave the way for me to do all the other cool things that I look forward to in life.
In the spirit of James Clear's insightful quote, "You are not the cause for everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to everything that happens to you," let's focus on the power of intentional responses. I encourage you to pause, and this year use this time for the type of reflection that will allow you to create the impetus for meaningful change.
Instead of rehashing the same old resolutions that usually fade with time, channel your energy into amplifying the activities that brought you joy this year. If workplace camaraderie was the source, find ways to strengthen team bonds. If a creative pursuit energised you, intentionally allocate time for it in your schedule. Personally, exercise is the first thing that goes into my calendar each day. I even invested in a home gym to make sure that there are no longer any excuses, and as a result, my workout completion rate finished bang on 100% in the last 12 months.
This reframing of our approach transforms resolutions into deliberate choices. Instead of starting from scratch, we build upon the foundations of what we know has worked for us before. It's a process that demands honesty with oneself and a commitment to nurturing and embedding those positive elements into our lives.
As we embrace the power of reflection, respond with intentionality, and refocus on what truly matters, we are paving the way for a new year that is not just filled with goals and achievements. Instead, it is created from a highlights reel that we know will bring challenge, but along with that, it brings genuine contentment and fulfillment.
Cheers to a purposeful 2024! May yours be filled with more of the good stuff that lights you up and leaves you feeling energised and prepared for whatever comes next.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses her unfamiliar feelings of being disenchanted, disillusioned, and even disappointed with Christmas, and how a small reminder of the importance of showing kindness to others, reignited her festive spirits.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Surprisingly, I am feeling a little Grinchy for this time of year. This is a new sensation for me, usually the first to get swept up in the spirit and fun that coincides with end of year festivities, advent calendars and the glitter of fairy lights as they dance in trees and sparkle on balconies and roof tops. Instead, my usual yuletide enthusiasm has been replaced with ‘dis’ words, unfamiliar feelings of being disenchanted, disillusioned, and even disappointed. The promise of joy, love, connection, and peace that usually accompanies this time of year seems to have dissolved within me and completely lost its magic.
Curious. So completely out of character. And yet, after some reflection, the reasons for my Christmas apathy are probably not all that surprising.
Initially, I put it down to fatigue. 2023 has been a big one, lots of challenges and opportunities, along with some struggles that have left me a little winded. The reality when you get the wind knocked out of you is that you don’t always allow adequate time to recover. Instead, you jump up and get straight back into the ring, failing to deal with any lingering feelings of pain and discomfort. Even though my emotional load has been accumulating over the last 12 months, I am confident that this isn’t the only thing that has started to dim the spark of what used to be my Christmas spirit.
So, if this isn’t the cause, what could it be?
After some soul searching what I discovered was that the real reason Christmas felt out of step this year was less about me and more about the event. The promises, rituals and traditions associated with the festive season seemed to be losing their specialness. More than that, they seemed to be losing their meaningfulness.
The lead up to Christmas now starts as early as August in some retailers, with ‘Christmas creep’ seeking to take advantage of those willing to overindulge as they aim to bring joy to others. This type of joy is manufactured through the promise of creating a ‘proper Christmas experience’ for loved ones. While it is not the gamechanger that clever advertisers will want us to believe, it can create an instant dopamine hit as we anticipate the joy that others will experience through our generous gift giving. I completely get it - we could all use a few more of those precious dopamine hits at the moment.
So perhaps it is just me, and given that Christmas is almost here, it is me that needs a change of perspective. Unfortunately, the reality of personal experience and challenge can sometimes derail my best intentions. One less at our dinner table this year is a painful reminder of the loss and grief that my family lives with. The number of people experiencing loneliness, homelessness and violence is on the rise. Working in this space, I am continually reminded that the services that we provide are vital, yet they cannot keep up with the demand and level of need within our community.
But there is hope, and recently I was buoyed after watching the 2-minute Christmas advertisement for Charlie's Bar, Enniskillen (search for it on YouTube or copy the link at the end of this article). The clip reminded me of the importance of showing kindness to others, because the reality is that you never really know what is going on behind the scenes for someone else. It could be a stranger, a neighbour, a friend, or a family member. In the video, an elderly man is laying flowers on a grave, and passes through the streets without acknowledgement from anyone around him. Until he sits in Charlie’s Bar in Enniskillen and orders himself a beer.
I won’t spoil the ending as I want you to watch the video, but I will tell you that this video flicked a switch within me. It reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas, and the power that lies within each of us to show kindness and hope to others.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week, Tanya reflects on Christmas, a time of warmth and celebration for some and, for others, a time of challenges which can overshadow the holiday season.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As the festive season approaches, it is with a mix of joy and sensitivity that I reflect on the nuances of Christmas, a time traditionally associated with warmth, togetherness, and celebration. In this reflection, I acknowledge the very real challenges that many individuals and families face during this season, from the burdens of the cost of living to the weight of loneliness that can overshadow the holiday cheer.
The reality is that not everyone has a supportive network or a family to share the joy with. The emphasis on family and social connections during this time can accentuate feelings of isolation for those who are estranged from their families, have lost loved ones, or are geographically distant from their support systems.
Social expectations and the pervasive images of joyful celebrations can exacerbate the sense of loneliness for individuals who may be spending the holidays alone. The contrast between the festive atmosphere and one's personal circumstances can be a stark reminder of what is lacking, intensifying the emotional impact of isolation.
In an era marked by economic uncertainties and the constant struggle to make ends meet, the financial strain associated with Christmas can be particularly daunting. The pressure to provide a picture-perfect celebration often clashes with the realities of a tight budget.
Societies' emphasis on gift-giving and lavish celebrations can contribute to a sense of exclusion for those who cannot afford to participate in such activities. The commercialisation of Christmas may inadvertently deepen the divide between those who can partake in the material aspects of the season and those who cannot.
Volunteering time, acts of kindness, reaching out to those who may be feeling lonely, and supporting initiatives that address financial hardships can help alleviate the burdens that some may carry during this time.
In Bundaberg, there are various organisations that can help. Angel’s Community Group, Angel’s Santa Assistance program provides food hampers for families and gifts (toys) for children 0-17 years. Bundaberg Regional Council’s Mayor’s Christmas Cheer Appeal is working with local churches and charity groups on the frontline of support services to deliver Christmas hampers.
It is heartening to witness the collective efforts of these organisations and the wider community dedicated to making a positive impact during the festive season.
Embracing the true spirit of the season involves not only celebrating joyfully with those around us but also extending kindness and consideration to those who may be need a little extra support. Together, we can create a community where the true spirit of Christmas, marked by kindness, understanding, and generosity, shines brightly for all.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the journey of prioritising yourself, setting boundaries, and saying 'no'.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
In recent years, I've come to appreciate the delicate balance between giving and preserving my own well-being. For the longest time, I wore the badge of a people pleaser proudly, always saying yes even when my plate was already overflowing. It took a personal revelation and a conscious effort to realise that saying no is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is an assertion of self-worth and a key to maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
In a world that often glorifies the word 'yes,' learning to say no has been a transformative journey for me. The turning point came when I was sitting in front of my computer, watching emails continue to drop in, and suddenly feeling an overwhelming tide of emotion rise within me. Not because I was feeling unsafe, unhappy, or unwell. To put it simply, I was drowning in commitments and obligations. Things that I had chosen to do, to keep others happy or to keep up with the demands of work, family, and personal aspirations. This will not be an unfamiliar story for many of you, yet many of us continue this merry go round of emotion until we reach the inevitable – burnout.
So, what is the secret to putting clear boundaries in place and saying no without feeling guilty?
Embarking on the journey of prioritising yourself through saying no can be challenging, especially in the beginning. One of the keys to saying no assertively lies in understanding your priorities. Recognise your limits and be honest with yourself about what you can realistically handle. This self-awareness is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.
Crafting a polite yet firm refusal is an essential skill. Instead of a flat-out rejection, consider expressing gratitude for the opportunity and then politely declining. For example, you could say, "I appreciate your trust in me for this project, but my current commitments won't allow me to give it the attention it deserves. I hope you understand." Or “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’ll have to pass this time.”
It's also essential to remember that saying no is not a rejection of the person making the request; it's a decision based on your own needs and priorities. Be assertive but empathetic, and most people will appreciate your honesty.
Creating a buffer is another effective strategy. If you find it challenging to say no outright, consider buying yourself some time. Respond with, "Let me check my schedule and get back to you." This gives you the opportunity to evaluate your commitments and make an informed decision.
Saying no is not about closing doors; it's about choosing the ones that lead to a balanced and fulfilling life. Embrace the power of no, set boundaries, and watch as your newfound assertiveness enhances both your personal and professional relationships.
Remember, by saying no, you are not just prioritising yourself; you are ensuring that when you do say yes, it is a commitment you can wholeheartedly fulfill.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the vital importance of community engagement and collaboration in addressing and overcoming the challenges of gender-based violence, as highlighted in our podcast episode 7 featuring Jo Leverett from the Zonta Club of Bundaberg.
By Tanya O'Shea, Managing Director, IMPACT Community Services
The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence campaign, spanning from November 25 to December 10, brings global attention to an issue that’s often concealed in the shadows until it's tragically too late—gender-based violence.
Statistics from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare on gender-based violence in Australia are alarming to say the least:
IMPACT Community Services is passionate about this movement, which aims to do more than just raise awareness about gender-based violence; it seeks to create a lasting and positive change that echoes throughout societies.
In our most recent STRONGER TOGETHER Podcast (Episode 7), I sat down with Jo Leverett, Zonta Club of Bundaberg board member and Zonta Advocacy Committee chair, to discuss the importance of community engagement and collaboration in preventing and eliminating gender-based violence.
Our conversation shone light on the indomitable spirit of those who have turned personal tragedy into powerful advocacy. The heart-wrenching stories of Hannah Clarke and Allison Baden-Clay, as shared by their families, emphasise the pressing need for societal change, inspiring legislative reforms such as the landmark legislation on coercive control in Queensland.
Over the 16 Days of Activism, the Zonta Club of Bundaberg’s projects, such as ringing bells to honour the victims of gender-based violence or lighting up fig trees in orange, are powerful expressions of support and memory.
Yet, our responsibilities extend beyond symbolic gestures. We must continually challenge ourselves and our community to recognise and address all forms of violence, broadening our understanding and language to encompass the diverse experiences of individuals facing violence and oppression.
As we approach the Day of Community on December 8, we extend an invitation for everyone to gather in Buss Park. Wear orange, symbolising a brighter future, and make the pledge to a future free from all forms of violence.
Our strength lies in unity; together, we can be the change. Remember, if the discussions in this column resonate with you, support is available. Contact Lifeline at 13 11 14 or visit impact.org.au for additional resources.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya reflects on the unpredictability of life's challenges, discussing fear and compassion, and emphasises the significance of approaching others' responses to fear with empathy and understanding.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Imagine this: you find yourself on the 43rd floor of a building in an unfamiliar city, sound asleep, when suddenly you're jolted awake by a blaring alarm in your room. Disoriented and unsure of the time, you contemplate your next move.
First, you step outside in your pyjamas to see if others on your floor are reacting. No smoke, no commotion, and no armed individuals in sight. You decide there's no immediate danger or urgency—or that everyone has already been evacuated and you’re late to the party—so you take a moment to put on some pants. While slipping into jeans, you open the curtains to peer into the dark outside, finding no signs of movement or life. The alarm persists, but you stand still, thinking only, "Damn, that alarm is loud."
As your brain finally kicks into gear, you grab your room key and head out the door, now on the lookout for the stairwell exit. Ignoring the internal voice cautioning against using the lift in an emergency, you press the lift button. Still, no sign of another soul, and you start feeling like the last survivor in a post-apocalyptic scenario. You press the lift button frantically until the doors finally open. No smoke, no immediate signs of danger, it is safe to exit. Wait, that’s an emergency evacuation from a plane. Damn. The doors close again. Mind racing, what to do, what to do. Eventually, you press the down arrow, get in, and the lift stops on the 10th floor. The door opens, but no one is there, kicking the apocalypse story into overdrive.
Reaching ground level, the lift doors open to a long corridor. The alarm persists, but you spot about 15 people gathered around the front entrance of the building. You breathe a sigh of relief as you realise that you are safe, and calmly exit the elevator, thankful you took the time to put on pants.
Heading across the street, you wait to see what unfolds. It’s at this point you realise you can’t see anything more than 10 metres in front of you because you forgot to put on your glasses, and you have no idea what time it is because you aren’t wearing your watch and didn’t grab your phone. Over the 10–15-minute period that followed, people casually exit the building, some geared up for a run, others ready to walk their dogs. Clearly, they’re accustomed to this routine.
I would love to be able to tell you that this tale was one from my youth, at a time when I was naïve and unprepared for the unexpected events that life occasionally throws at us. The reality, however, is this happened to me last week. After a life filled with unexpected turns and challenges, I found myself on the street with nothing but the clothes on my back.
I share this story because fear is a funny thing. For some, fears are something to be avoided, overcome, minimised, or simply ignored. Fear can also shine a light on something that we need to learn or discover about ourselves. In that moment, I was unprepared, and it's tempting to blame the situation—unfamiliar surroundings, an early wake-up, and a deafening alarm. Waking up in an unknown place tilted my world, and fear momentarily shut down my rational thinking. Thankfully, there was no Ant Middleton scrutinising my decisions, or his head might have exploded given some of my choices in those early hours (SAS fans will know what I’m talking about).
It is easy to judge others for the poor decisions they make when faced with fear. Sometimes, because a situation is so familiar to us, we don’t appreciate the fear that the same situation may create for others. The calm exit of some from a potentially alarming situation may not signify complacency but rather a unique approach to managing fear.
My experience last week was a gentle (but “alarming”) reminder to approach fear with an open mind and heart—let us not only be considerate of our own perceptions but also empathetic and compassionate toward others.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses mind-wandering, how it contributes to unhappiness, and effective techniques for fostering focus and mindfulness.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Have you noticed that despite being physically present in a meeting, your mind seems to have its own agenda, exploring vast landscapes of unrelated ideas? Or experienced the sensation of being physically present at your desk, yet your mind seems to be on a journey of its own, in a world far, far away from the task at hand? You’re not alone.
Research indicates that, on average, individuals spend nearly half of their waking hours with their minds drifting away from the present task. Contrary to the assumption that daydreaming provides a mental escape leading to contentment, studies show that this mind-wandering is associated with decreased levels of happiness and life satisfaction.
Mind wandering, far from being a consequence of unhappiness, is identified as a significant contributing factor. When our minds constantly shift from the present moment, it becomes challenging to fully engage with and appreciate the task at hand. This lack of engagement not only hampers productivity but also diminishes the quality of experiences, leading to a sense of dissatisfaction.
The prevalence of distractions in our modern, hyper-connected world further exacerbates the issue. The constant influx of notifications, emails, and the allure of social media provides ample opportunities for the mind to wander, pulling attention away from the present and hindering the cultivation of a contented state of mind.
This challenge has led to the development of tools and techniques aimed at fostering focus and mindfulness. One such tool gaining popularity is the Focus Mate app, which pairs users with virtual accountability partners for dedicated work sessions. This collaborative approach has been shown to significantly reduce distractions and enhance productivity.
Another effective method is the Pomodoro Technique, a time-management method that breaks work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. This structured approach helps maintain focus and prevents the mind from aimlessly drifting.
In my own experience, I've found that cultivating mindfulness has had a profound impact on my overall well-being. I would often grapple with the challenge of staying present but implementing the Pomodoro Technique has been a game-changer, allowing me to channel my energy into focused bursts of productivity.
By incorporating tools like Focus Mate and adopting strategies like the Pomodoro Technique, we can reclaim control over our attention and, in turn, enhance our overall satisfaction with life. In a world that constantly vies for our attention, the ability to stay present may well be the key to a happier, more fulfilling existence.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses World Kindness Day on Monday, 13th November and the small changes we can make to be kinder to ourselves.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
The month of November is most widely recognised for ‘Movember’, where men take pride in growing (often not very good looking) moustaches to increase awareness for men’s mental health. Now while this is incredibly important, I would like to draw your attention to something a little less known, more specifically, World Kindness Day, celebrated this year on Monday, the 13th of November.
Often, we consider kindness as something that we share with others, almost like a commodity that is traded or becomes the star of an Instagram feed. But what if we flipped it into something that we did not prioritise sharing on socials, or with others. What if, kindness was celebrated this year, as something that we showed towards ourselves?
Too often, I hear the way people refer to themselves or their thoughts in an unkind and uncompassionate way. Berating themselves with a fierce barrage of scathing attacks that slowly erodes their confidence, their self-esteem, and their ability to follow their dreams and back themselves. Sometimes, their unkindness spirals from ruminating thoughts about what they could or should have done, to comparing themselves to others. Their haves and have nots, fears for their future or a lack of belief in being able to create the future that they want for themselves or their family.
Changing this negative self-talk takes time, motivation, and daily practice. But there is something that you can do today that will set the wheels in motion.
The irresistible urge to reach for our devices has become an integral part of our waking ritual, almost as instinctual as the cup of coffee. In effect, we are handing over the remote control to our thoughts, feelings, and emotions to someone else from the time we open our eyes.
But there is another way. Tonight, I encourage you to take your phone into a room other than where you sleep to charge it. Put your notifications onto silent. Okay, enough with the eyerolling - stay with me. Instead of turning over in the morning to check your phone, consider using the first eight minutes of your day to sit quietly and set your intention for the day. Imagine what this intention, this thing, looks like, feels like, sounds like. What thoughts come up for you when you imagine it happening for you.
Creating time and space for ourselves to imagine what is possible before we get interrupted by life – that is the pinnacle of kindness towards self. Visualising our hopes, aspirations, ambitions, and dreams first up in the morning and then allowing them to gradually grow and manifest from dreams to reality.
There are lots of excuses we can make about why we can’t do this. My challenge to you is to instead put time and energy into thinking about all the ways that you can. I promise you that it is worth it. Personally, my miracle morning practice has left me feeling more grounded, more focused, and notably less stressed. By taking control of the beginning of my day, I set a more positive and intentional tone for what follows.
So, this World Kindness Day, I challenge you to do this one thing for yourself. Break free from the habitual morning phone check, reclaim your mornings, and take back control of your life. The positive difference it could make may just surprise you.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses perfectionism, social media, and the toll it takes on our mental health.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
In today's digitally connected world, social media has become a stage where many of us showcase curated versions of our lives. Picturesque vacations, flawless selfies, and tales of unending success often dominate our feeds. However, the truth is that appearances on social media can be profoundly deceiving. Beneath those seemingly perfect lives lie complexities that may never make it to the Instagram grid or the Facebook wall.
As I reflect on this, I am reminded of a friend whose online presence always seemed enviable. Her posts were a collage of impeccable moments – stunning travel photos, impressive career achievements, and seemingly flawless relationships. Her life appeared to be the epitome of perfection. But as we got closer, I began to see a different story unfold.
The facade of her perfect life on social media masked the emotional struggles she endured. The pressure to maintain that illusion of perfection took a toll on her mental health. Her achievements were hard-won and came at the expense of countless sleepless nights. The beautiful travel pictures did not capture the moments of loneliness and homesickness she experienced while abroad. The seemingly perfect relationship she presented had its share of conflicts and compromises.
In the age of filters and selective sharing, it's crucial to remember that what we see on social media is often only a fragment of someone's reality. The pursuit of perfection can lead us to filter their lives, hiding their vulnerabilities and challenges behind a carefully crafted facade. It's a stark reminder that comparing our lives to others' highlight reels can be a fruitless and disheartening endeavour.
Perfectionism, whether driven by personal standards or the pressure to meet external expectations, often plays a role in perpetuating these misleading appearances. The desire to present oneself as flawless can lead to a disconnect between our real experiences and the image projected online.
So, what's the takeaway in this era of picture-perfect profiles? First, it's essential to approach social media with a critical eye and an understanding that appearances can be deceiving. Remember that most people share their best moments while leaving the rest unspoken. Second, it's vital to practice self-compassion. Embrace the imperfections and acknowledge that nobody's life is devoid of challenges.
The next time you find yourself scrolling through a friend's feed, marvelling at their seemingly ideal life, remember that beneath the filters and perfectly crafted posts lies a human being with their own set of struggles and triumphs. After all, the pursuit of perfection may be an admirable endeavour, but it's essential to remember that perfection is not a requirement for happiness or success. In embracing the authenticity beneath the facade, we find a path to genuine connection and personal growth.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the introduction of a new IMPACT Hall of Fame initiative, recognising long-serving staff that live the IMPACT vision and values.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As I was preparing my speech for our annual celebration over the past week, I found myself searching for inspiration. This may seem strange, especially given the nature of our work and the fact that we were honoured with the presence of five-time Olympian Nat Cook as guest speaker at our annual celebration.
At the time, I didn't have a clear idea of what I was looking for, but I was confident I'd know it when I saw it. I searched through quotes, journals, and blogs, hoping to stumble upon an idea that could serve as the focal point.
I found an overwhelming number of search results online about change –289 million to be exact. Of course, I didn't go through all of them, but I did get through a few pages. While there were some good one’s, nothing really stood out.
And then last week at our bi-monthly All Staff Teams meeting, there were all these familiar names and friendly faces in front of me. On that day we had over 70 staff from across all our sites. Aside from the usual updates and meeting formalities, we always dedicate time to sharing positive and uplifting stories.
We do this deliberately because we know that after a while, we can become desensitised and take for granted the ‘specialness’ of the work that we do. We often overlook the significance of our clients’ achievements, the choices they make, and the change they create.
It was in that moment I realised I had fallen into the same trap, taking for granted the amazing work that our people were doing to inspire change daily. The inspiration I had been seeking was, in fact, right there in front of me all along.
2023 has been a big year, probably the toughest in my time working with IMPACT. And that is saying something because there have been some doozies over the years. Since walking through the door of what was then Bundaberg Skills Centre on the 15 November 1999, it has been a baptism of fire for this former bank johnnie with no experience in working in the not-for-profit sector.
Over the years, our team has ridden the highs and lows together, with unwavering commitment to the vision of improving lives. There are no words to express my gratitude for their support and the inspiration that they give to me through their actions and the work that they do. I feel genuinely blessed to work with our people – watch them develop, learn, grow, get frustrated, grow a bit more, and when they are ready, they leave us to try new things.
Yet there are those special few that believe so much in the work that we do that they decide to stay and make their IMPACT job their career. They live the vision, the values, the mission, they are inspired by the change that they see within their clients. And sometimes, even within themselves.
This year, we have had 5 of our long serving staff decide to call time with IMPACT. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Daniel Leary, Sharelle Steinback, Steve Beer, Wendy Lindeman and Tim Van Kooten for the change that you have inspired during your combined 95 years of service and thank you for the legacy that you have created.
These good people have ridden some of the biggest, most challenging waves with IMPACT and in their personal lives. Yet, all of them have remained steady. They have carved out their own unique journey with IMPACT, yet their joint experience brings richness, connection, and a knowing that they have committed a huge part of their work life to making a difference to something bigger than themselves.
To celebrate this legacy, and those who went before them, I am pleased to announce that IMPACT has created a Hall of Fame, which will celebrate and immortalise staff who have left the organisation and contributed a minimum 15 years of service. The Hall of Fame will serve as a lasting tribute, preserving their IMPACT, showcasing the enduring legacy they've left behind, and inspiring us to continue ‘improving lives’ as we step into the IMPACT Community Services building each day.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the complex and sensitive subject of trauma.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
“Words matter because clarity in words is a part of clarity in thinking, and because some words carry great emotional and symbolic weight, and thus should be not used lightly.” —Jeffrie G. Murphy
These words resonate deeply in today's context with increasing awareness around the importance of mental well-being, specifically regarding psychological trauma and the devastating impact that it can have on individuals, families and even communities.
Almost daily we hear people referring to trauma, sometimes even using it to label or explain another person’s experience. Let’s call this out early: unless you are a mental health professional or have lived experience, we should not label other people’s experiences. One person's experience of trauma can vastly differ from another's.
It is easy to understand why trauma has become somewhat of a catchphrase today. For too long, people have struggled to share their experience, perhaps even feeling misunderstood, unheard, or invalidated when speaking up or sharing openly that they are not coping. Sharing that you or someone you know is traumatised however, is not as easy to ignore.
Sometimes we feel stuck, uncertain if what we have gone through, or are going through, is trauma. It is a loaded word, often used to explain the discomfort or pain that we are experiencing. And sometimes, it is even used to justify poor behaviour that has resulted in a negative impact or outcome.
Trauma is an ever-evolving field, and this article has a limited word count so let’s keep things super simple. Trauma literally means ‘wound, injury or shock’ and is the emotional, psychological, and physiological residue resulting from a stressful event.
Simple trauma is often overwhelming and painful, and rarely would anyone who has experienced simple trauma, refer to it as ‘simple.’ It is often a single event, something that may be life-threatening or cause serious injury, and may include things like natural disasters, car accidents or being the victim of a crime such as a rape or home invasion.
In comparison, complex trauma goes beyond a one-off incident and generally includes multiple incidents over a longer duration. Complex trauma tends to be repeated, may be difficult or impossible to escape from, may occur within a personal relationship or may begin as early as childhood, and can be something that an individual carries with them through to adulthood. People who experience complex trauma often feel disconnected from the support of others.
Even though simple and complex trauma are similar in many ways, they have some important differences. One thing to highlight is the element of shame and secrecy that often accompanies complex trauma. Simple trauma is usually validated, sometimes through acknowledgement, media coverage or recognition from family, friends, law enforcement or other societal systems.
In comparison, complex trauma is ongoing, with very little opportunity to recover before the pattern is repeated. It often occurs in secrecy and may be accompanied by threats and behaviours that compromise the safety of individuals or others within their family.
Irrespective of the type of trauma, unresolved symptoms such as anxiety, sleep problems, low energy, fatigue or an overreliance on drugs and alcohol will have an adverse effect on an individual’s mental and physical health and wellbeing. As a community we therefore have a responsibility not to offer responses that are unhelpful, judge or blame victims as this further disempowers them and leaves them a target of ongoing threats, violation, or violence.
Trauma, and the reactions of others, can have lasting effects on a person's mental and physical health. However, it doesn't have to shape their future. Trauma can be treated, and if you or someone you know can relate to the content here, it is important to seek support. With the right support and guidance, the challenges of trauma can be overcome.
If you would like more information about trauma, jump on and check out the resources at blue knot: https://blueknot.org.au/resources/blue-knot-fact-sheets/talking-about-trauma/
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the different types of mental health professionals and the services they offer.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Life can throw some significant challenges and hurdles at us, so getting access to the mental health support and help that we need, when we need it, is important.
Yet when it comes to getting help, who do I need to see?
This is a common question and can be frustrating and overwhelming for many of us. However, the bigger concern is that it is even tricker to navigate if you are experiencing mental health symptoms and have not asked for help before.
In today’s column, I therefore wanted to demystify the different types of mental health professionals and the services that they can provide. It can be challenging to understand the nuances between the various types of mental health professionals, but it’s essential to know what each one does so that you can get the help you need. Let’s dive in!
Psychiatrists are medically trained doctors who specialise in diagnosing and treating mental illnesses. They can prescribe medication and provide therapy.
Psychotherapists are trained in a range of therapies to improve mental wellbeing, including shifting unhelpful patterns of thinking, or overcoming emotional challenges. They provide therapy and counselling, but they cannot prescribe medication.
Psychologists are degree-qualified and trained to assess, diagnose, and treat mental illnesses. Clinical psychologists have a Masters or Doctorate and focus on the diagnosis and treatment of more complex mental health conditions. They both provide therapy and counselling, but they cannot prescribe medication.
Counsellors are generally diploma qualified, and are trained to help people with personal problems such as relationship issues, trauma, or grief. They provide counselling and support, but they cannot assess, diagnose, or treat mental illness and they cannot prescribe medication.
Peer workers are people who have lived experience with mental illness, and ideally are qualified with a Certificate IV Peer Work. They provide support and guidance to others who are going through similar experiences, including role modelling behaviour. They can also link you with higher level clinical supports if needed.
Support workers are qualified at minimum through a Certificate III in Support and provide emotional support to individuals experiencing mental health concerns.
Now, what about the Mental Health Care Plan that I have heard people talking about?
To obtain one, you'll start by visiting your GP. They will assess your mental health needs and, if necessary, refer you to the appropriate mental health professional. Your GP will work collaboratively with you to create a personalised Mental Health Care Plan. This plan typically includes a specific number of subsidised sessions with mental health professionals, and may involve psychologists, counsellors, or psychiatrists, (or maybe even a mix) depending on your individual needs.
As Mental Health Month unfolds, remember that seeking help is a commendable (and courageous) step toward a healthier, happier you. Mental health professionals are here to support you, and they recognise that your wellbeing is a priority.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses Mental Health Month and the One Foot Forward Challenge for the Black Dog Institute.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As the calendar flips to October, a month of real significance unfolds – it's Mental Health Month, and here in Queensland, we kick it off with Queensland Mental Health Week from the 7th to the 15th. This year's Mental Health Week theme, 'Awareness, belonging, connection,' underscores the importance of fostering a sense of belonging and providing a space for conversations about mental wellbeing. It's an invitation to unite, learn, and support one another on our mental health journeys. My plan therefore during the month is to use this column to raise awareness and understanding about mental health and wellbeing within our community.
This week, I wanted to give a big shout out to our team at IMPACT Community Services, who are committed to making a real difference during this Mental Health Month. We've taken up the Black Dog Institute's One Foot Forward Campaign, a challenge that encourages us to walk with purpose. This campaign is a step toward understanding, empathy, and support for the one in five Australians who experience a mental illness every year.
The One Foot Forward Campaign invites participants to set their own goals, be it 40km, 60km, 100km, 150km, or any distance that feels right to them. This symbolic journey reflects the real-life struggles faced by those living with mental health issues. By taking part, we not only raise awareness but also crucial funds for mental health research and support services provided by the Black Dog Institute.
I believe that our collective efforts can make a real impact. To capture the essence of our mission, I've asked some of IMPACT’s dedicated team members to share their thoughts on being part of this challenge:
Zoe Hastie: “I signed myself and the organisation up for this event because I want to help create a better future for those living with mental illness, including myself. There are still so many unknowns in mental health and the more research that can be conducted now, the stronger and more informed future generations will be.”
Amanda Ryan: " I am taking part because I have experienced mental health issues personally and don’t want anyone ever to feel alone and lost like I did and so am giving back to help support others."
To support our team and contribute to the cause, please visit www.onefootforward.org.au/fundraisers/impactcommunityservices and sponsor us. Every step we take, every dollar we raise, brings us closer to creating a society where mental health is a priority, and no one walks alone.
Join us as we put One Foot Forward on this journey throughout October, a month dedicated to improving community awareness and understanding of mental health and wellbeing. Together, we can make a difference—one step at a time.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses mattering.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
We all want to matter — mattering is a fundamental human desire that can significantly influence our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Mattering isn't just a personal pursuit; it's a community endeavour that can uplift individuals, schools, workplaces, and our community.
At its core, mattering is the feeling that we are a significant part of the world around us. It's the belief that we are noticed, important, and needed right now. When we make others feel this way, we not only improve their lives but also strengthen the bonds that hold our communities together.
Research has shown that experiencing mattering has a multitude of benefits. It boosts self-esteem, fostering confidence in one's worth. It even increases serotonin levels, often referred to as the "confidence molecule," which can positively influence our overall mood and reduce anxiety.
Moreover, mattering provides us with a sense of purpose, triggering the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin – the "happiness trifecta." These chemicals not only control our mood but also motivate us to contribute to our communities.
So, how can we create experiences of mattering? Studies have identified three key components: attention, importance, and dependence. Attention means realising that others notice us and care about what's happening in our lives. Importance is feeling uniquely significant and valued, while dependence involves knowing that someone relies on us.
Individually, we can make a difference by ensuring that the people around us regularly feel noticed, important, and needed. In schools, it means emphasising to every student that their presence completes the classroom. In workplaces, it's about recognising that each person and their work are essential for the whole. In our communities, we must work towards rebuilding systems that affirm the dignity and value of every individual.
Mattering is not a one-size-fits-all concept; it's deeply personal. It's about fostering connections, offering kindness, and acknowledging the unique contributions of each person in our lives. It is about taking notice, being prepared to look outside our own internal world and recognising the value being created by someone else. It may seem insignificant at the time, yet the impact that we can have on others – it can be truly powerful. Creating households, neighbourhoods, communities, workplaces, schools, and even a nation where every single person felt like they mattered to someone else.
Simple, effective, lifechanging. Each of us playing a role in the change that we would like to see.
Please note: This website may contain references to, or feature images, videos, and voices of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have passed away.