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"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses decision fatigue.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Life is filled with countless choices. From the moment we wake up until we lay our heads on the pillow at night, we are confronted with decisions—some trivial, others life-altering. According to University of Leicester lecturer Eva Krockow, we make upwards of 35,000 decisions each day. It's no wonder that decision fatigue, that overwhelming feeling when faced with choices, can leave us feeling mentally drained and emotionally exhausted!
But how do you know if you're suffering from decision fatigue, and more importantly, what can you do about it?
Signs of decision fatigue are often subtle but pervasive. Feeling overwhelmed when faced with too many choices, avoiding decision-making tasks and an inability to think clearly or focus are telltale signs that decision fatigue has taken hold. Frequent procrastination, a sense of ‘stuckness’, overthinking, and physical symptoms such as fatigue, poor sleep, and headaches are also common indicators. If you find yourself acting impulsively or without thorough consideration, wasting time unnecessarily or if you're unsatisfied with the choices you ultimately make, decision fatigue may be at play.
So, what are two things in your day that you could automate so that you don’t have to make a decision about them? For me, the two things are always what to eat and what to wear.
Let’s start with food. Tip 1 is to work out what meals you wish to eat throughout the week and repeat. Once you set the menu up, prepare your grocery list and choose your preferred supermarket, the hard work is complete. My breakfast and lunch are prepared on a Sunday and can get me through the week, therefore I only need to prepare dinner. The mental load associated with deciding what to cook, mindless wandering in the supermarket aisles or trying to decide what to pick up for dinner - gone.
Personally, it leaves me feeling way less frazzled and able to turn up better when I arrive home to my family. When we get tired of the routine or are feeling less overwhelmed, we change it up. Until then, this simple act of planning ahead and repeating the same plan each week is guaranteed to not only bring a sense of structure and organisation, it will also free up valuable mental energy so that it can be redirected to more important things.
So, let’s move onto clothes. What to wear is such a mind numbing, yet complex task for the majority of us. So, tip 2 is all about how we can simplify this important, yet mundane task of dressing ourselves.
If you work or volunteer, perhaps choose a ‘work uniform’ if you don’t have a standard uniform. On weekends, keep things simple. I often find myself wearing the same things and here’s the thing - no one cares what I wear. We sometimes get sucked into this vortex of having too many choices – trying to mix this, or match with that. Very nice for a special event, however, for many of us, those special events are the exception rather than the rule.
My strategy is always to automate decisions wherever possible, and I therefore promise that these two simple, well-tested strategies will save you hours of planning and reduce potentially hundreds of unnecessary, energy draining decisions from your day.
Decision fatigue is a common challenge we all face from time to time, therefore decluttering our physical and mental spaces can work wonders. Taking control by streamlining and automating simple daily practices will not only reduce the number of decisions you make each day, it will also support you to ‘turn up’ in a more positive way, whilst developing a greater sense of peace of mind and clarity.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses burnout, and the three Fs to look out for.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Damian Hadwick, Mark McGowan, David Koche, and Jacinda Ardern have one thing in common: they all recently quit high-profile jobs because they had enough. While job resignations have become common during the pandemic and the "great resignation" trend, their cases go beyond the usual reasons. Something more sinister is leaving them feeling worn-out and unstable.
Jacinda Ardern summed it up perfectly when she said, "I am human. We give as much as we can for as long as we can and then it's time." This sentiment aligns with psychiatrist Gordon Parker's analogy of an elastic band. Just like an elastic band loses its elasticity when stretched repeatedly, humans lose their ability to bounce back when pushed beyond their limits. This can lead to burnout, where individuals feel completely depleted.
Recognising the symptoms of burnout and acting before losing the ability to bounce back is crucial. Personally, I’m always mindful of these three F’s: fear, friction, and fatigue, which can hinder my physical and mental wellbeing, and to address them before running out of fuel.
People are feeling more stressed and fearful than normal, with the media continually showering us with stories about the escalating cost of living, housing shortages, war in Russia, relations with China… it feels like we’re being bombarded with new and escalating challenges, many of which feel (and often are) outside our control.
Fear is an innate reaction within us all. It’s a mechanism to keep us safe, yet when we register a threat stimulus it triggers a response in the amygdala (part of the brain) that prepares us to fight, flee or freeze. The issue is that the mere perception of threat is enough for the amygdala to be activated. In the current environment, the perception of threat can be constant, creating layer upon layer, and resulting in a genuine sense of concern and overwhelm.
Friction is a force, a feeling that we can encounter when interacting with people, systems or things. These things can be outside of our power, and could be related to toxic workplaces, people or the feeling we get when something does not quite align to our values or beliefs. When the force pushing on us exceeds the energy we have, or are willing to push against, friction can leave us feeling stuck and powerless. Too much friction can be painful and destructive, both physically and emotionally.
And then there’s fatigue, which refers to our emotional and mental muscle when it’s overused or not exercised enough and so stops working at its best. Imagine pulling away from social events, friends, family, because isolation feels simpler. Shutting down from the outside world - physically, mentally, emotionally - because everything feels too hard, and you just crave some quiet. An escape from the relentless bombardment of life.
Many of us have experienced fear, friction, and fatigue at some point. The key is not to avoid these feelings but accept them as part of the human experience, knowing they will pass. The challenge lies in not allowing these feelings to consume us and prevent us from experiencing other positive emotions.
If fear, friction, and fatigue seem to be taking control, reflect on three important questions: Can I still recognise and accept things beyond my control? Can I distinguish between behaviours that help me and those that harm me? Am I still engaging in activities that energise and support my emotional and mental wellbeing? Answering "no" to any of these questions may indicate a need to make changes to ensure the three F's are not hindering your ability to live your best life.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how to thrive as an empath in a connected world.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Have you ever felt an overwhelming rush of sadness or joy while talking to someone? Or found yourself getting teary-eyed watching a TV show about rescue dogs? If these moments strike a chord with you, there's a chance you might be an empath or have empath tendencies.
Being an empath means experiencing emotions on a deeper level than others. It goes beyond empathy, where your heart goes out to someone else. Empaths "feel" more intensely, almost as if they absorb the feelings and emotions of those around them. Unfortunately, this can leave empaths feeling drained if they don't have effective strategies to detach from negative energy.
Some may judge this behaviour critically, perhaps believing that they need to ‘get a grip’ and better manage their own responses towards others. It is really that easy?
Research reveals that our ability to tap into others' emotions is linked to our mirror neuron system. Empaths have hypersensitive mirror neurons, allowing them to deeply connect with and understand others' feelings. According to Dr Judith Orloff, it is not limited to feelings and some empaths will even become sick or start to feel the physical pain of others. She therefore coined the term ‘empathic illness’ to describe an empath’s experience of feeling another person’s symptoms as if they were their own.
We have all experienced energy vampires – people who, sometimes intentionally, drain all our emotional energy and leave us feeling depleted. It is therefore important, particularly for empaths, that they protect themselves from energy vampires and over stimulation.
Be aware of energy vampires in your personal and professional life, perhaps checking in with yourself after spending time with certain people. Do you feel more tired than normal? Has your mood changed? Perhaps you suddenly feel unwell or have the urge to eat something laden with sugar? If so, chances are that you have been in contact with an energy vampire.
It may sound a little woo woo to some, however I actively create an invisible shield around me, particularly in the company of people who leave me feeling depleted. Imagine it locking in around you, blocking out all the negative energy that may be coming your way in that moment. Other strategies include taking notice of any changes in mood or physical state when around another person and checking in with yourself to gauge whether the symptom or emotion is yours of the other person’s. Or it could be as simple as doing some breathing to circulate any negativity out of your body.
Being an empath has some advantages. Empaths are deep, passionate, and compassionate individuals who truly understand and appreciate others' feelings. Their empathy makes them excellent managers and leaders, and they find solace in connecting with nature and animals.
However, empaths face challenges due to being easily overstimulated. It's essential for them to prioritise alone time to recharge. When feeling fatigued or overwhelmed, I often experience sensory overload—increased sensitivity to light, smell, taste, touch, temperature, and sound. To relieve these symptoms, I rest, create moments of solitude, and disconnect from devices. Connecting with nature and finding quiet spaces away from bright lights and noise also help.
If you're interested in learning more, check out Dr. Judith Orloff's work and take her empath self-assessment.
It is important for everyone, not just empaths, to understand how other people’s energy impacts on us, and particularly in a world filled with challenges, how to not take on the stress of others.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how to nurture your wellbeing when times are tough.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Australian Unity recently released the results of their annual Wellbeing Index, and it deeply concerns me to learn that wellbeing in Australia has reached its lowest point on record.
According to the annual Australian Unity Wellbeing Index 2022, this result is the most amplified in our young people, highlighting the immense challenges faced by today's youth, and we must address this urgent issue with empathy and support. The report points out that the triple crises of the cost of living, COVID-19, and environmental urgency are possible reasons behind this decline in wellbeing. It is crucial that we acknowledge these factors and work towards finding solutions that can empower everyone, but especially young people, to improve their personal wellbeing.
Amidst these complex challenges, it's important to remember that even small steps towards self care and personal growth can have a significant impact on our overall wellbeing. While we may not be able to change the world overnight, we do have the power to make positive changes in our own lives. Here are a few suggestions to nurture personal wellbeing:
Prioritise self-leadership: Take time each day to engage in activities that contribute to your wellbeing. There is no right or wrong with this, it is very much a personal thing. One person might do exercise, whereas someone else might do a number of smaller things throughout the day. The focus is on including things that assist to lower stress or replenish your energy.
Foster connections: Social support is crucial for wellbeing. Where possible, seek out relationships that uplift and inspire you. Reach out to friends, family, or even support groups who share similar experiences or interests. Connection and a sense of belonging can provide emotional resilience.
Cultivate gratitude: In times of difficulty, it can be easy to focus on what's going wrong. Practicing gratitude can help shift our mindset towards the positive aspects of life. Each day, reflect on three things you are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem. You might like to write them down so you can look back for a shot of gratitude inspiration when you need it!
Take care of your physical health: Engaging in regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep are vital for overall wellbeing. These practices not only benefit your physical health but also have a positive impact on your mental and emotional state.
Last week, IMPACT Community Services launched the Stronger Together Podcast. If you’re struggling with feeling a lack of wellbeing, I urge you to tune into episode one, which focuses on mental wellbeing. The Stronger Together podcast offers insights, strategies, and personal stories that can help to navigate the issues so many in our community are facing.
While the challenges faced today by many, and especially by young people, are undeniably daunting, we must remember that collective action and support can make a difference. Let's foster a society that values the wellbeing of its members and works towards creating an environment where everyone can thrive. By taking small steps towards personal wellbeing and engaging in meaningful conversations, we can build resilience and contribute to the collective wellbeing of our communities.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the launch of the Stronger Together podcast.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
In a world where change is constant and our community faces ever-evolving challenges, it is more important than ever that we foster connections, inspire transformation, and confront the pressing issues head-on. It’s with great pride and excitement that I introduce the Stronger Together Podcast— a new platform dedicated to tackling the big issues we face head-on and offering insights, solutions, and empowering conversations that will resonate with each and every one of us.
The Stronger Together Podcast is an extension of the Stronger Together column. Through the podcast, we aim to delve even deeper into the topics that matter most to us all, ranging from mental health and physical wellness to employment, parenting, coping with the cost of living crisis, living your life the way you want, and much more. Our mission is simple: to inform, assist and empower individuals, families, and communities by providing a platform for open, honest, and informative discussions.
I am proud to host the Stronger Together Podcast alongside my co-host, Kate Buckland—a remarkable individual who brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the podcast. As a Communications Officer at IMPACT, Kate has dedicated her career to amplifying voices and telling stories that make a difference. With over 20 years of experience in journalism, public relations, and communications, Kate possesses a keen understanding of the power of words, storytelling and the importance of shaping engaging and meaningful conversations. Kate's commitment to empowering individuals shines through her insightful conversations and her ability to ask the right questions. Her expertise will guide our discussions and ensure that we explore every topic thoroughly, leaving no stone unturned.
Together, Kate and I are committed to delivering thought-provoking content that resonates with you and inspires you. We will invite experts, professionals, and individuals with lived experiences to join us as we explore the challenges faced by many in our community. By sharing their stories, insights, and strategies for success, we hope to inspire you to take action, make positive changes in your own lives, and contribute to the betterment of our community.
Mark your calendars! New episodes will be released on the second Thursday of every month, allowing you to tune in regularly and stay up to date with the latest conversations and insights. Each episode promises to bring you compelling stories, expert advice, and thought-provoking discussions that will leave you inspired, informed, and ready to make a difference.
I invite you to join us on this incredible journey as we navigate the complexities of our world, seek out solutions, and discover the incredible strength that lies within our community. Together, we can create a positive impact, make a difference, and stand strong—because we are truly stronger together.
For more information about the Stronger Together Podcast, including where to listen, go to https://impact.org.au/podcast/
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the concept of sliding doors and the choices we make.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Recently, I accepted a short-term role coaching two groups of professionals. It didn’t ‘impact’ on my day job (pun intended!) and was not unusual given that I often find myself facing pivotal moments in my career and personal life. It did however force me to pause and reflect on this concept of sliding doors and the choices we make.
This particular opportunity was accompanied by a challenging conversation, followed by doubts and insecurities creeping into my mind. Questions arose: Where could I provide value to a group of high performers? What exactly could I offer? Did I have what it takes to fulfill this coaching role? The fear of failure emerged, reminding me of past experiences and urging me to avoid inviting failure into my life once again. I also pondered how I would manage to fit this new responsibility into my already packed schedule.
In that moment, I felt the weight of uncertainty and questioned whether I had made the right decision. I found myself standing at a metaphorical crossroads, contemplating two doors.
Door 1 beckoned me to proceed with confidence. I reminded myself of the years of experience I possessed, my passion for supporting others in curating a fulfilling life, and the incredible opportunity before me to learn from the individuals I would be coaching.
On the other hand, Door 2 tempted me to make up an excuse and retreat. By doing so, I would avoid potential failure and preserve my self-assured demeanor. I would remain in my comfort zone, unchallenged but also missing out on future opportunities in this space. The allure of maintaining my reputation and steering clear of failure was enticing.
Despite the uncertainty and the shaky conversation that left me questioning my capability, I knew that choosing Door 1 was the right decision. I was ready to embrace the uncertainly, fully prepared to venture from the familiar territory of one-on-one coaching into the uncharted waters of coaching groups. Ready to step into the discomfort and potential awkwardness of guiding a group of individuals who would look to me for guidance. They would rely on my support to choose one idea among countless others and transform it into a compelling pitch within a mere five weeks, all in preparation for their graduation.
That challenging conversation that I mentioned earlier – it was with myself. Filling my mind with doubts and fears and battling head on with my own inner critic. It was an attempt to keep me safe by reminding me that stepping outside my comfort zone carried the risk of failure. But I refused to let that voice dictate my choices.
Choosing Door 1 meant embracing uncertainty, facing new challenges, and navigating moments of overwhelm, doubt, and frustration. It demanded stepping into discomfort, where progress sometimes stalled, and team members questioned their own contribution and value. It also however, brought forth moments of insight, peaks of energy, and sparks of joy.
So, as I reflect on this sliding doors moment, I implore you to consider the choices that lie before you. Each decision, no matter how small, has the power to open up new pathways in your life. I therefore encourage you to choose the door that challenges you to embrace uncertainty, push past your comfort zone, and lean into the growth and fulfilment that lie beyond your familiar boundaries.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses time assets and debts, and the power of time.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As I reflect on my journey of personal growth and self-improvement, I can't help but ponder upon the profound wisdom encapsulated in James Clear's quote about time assets and time debts:
“Time assets are choices that save you time in the future. Think: saying no to a meeting, automating a task, working on something that persists and compounds. Time debts are choices that must be repaid and cost you time in the future. Think: saying yes to a meeting, doing sloppy work that will need to be revised, etc. Time assets are an investment. Time debts are an expense."
Over the years, I have come to realise that managing my time effectively is not just a matter of ticking items off a to-do list; it is a conscious choice between investing in my future or accumulating debts that I must repay.
I vividly recall a time when I struggled to strike a balance between my professional and personal life. Every request for a meeting seemed urgent and important, and I found myself saying "yes" to almost every invitation. Little did I realise that by doing so, I was accumulating time debts. The toll was substantial. My evenings and weekends, which should have been dedicated to recharging and spending quality time with loved ones, were squandered on catching up with work I had put off. The debt kept mounting, and my personal relationships suffered as a result.
It was during this period that I stumbled upon the concept of time assets. I started re-evaluating each request for my time, weighing its potential value against the cost it would incur in terms of time and energy. Saying "no" became my superpower. By reclaiming those hours and redirecting my focus towards tasks that persisted and compounded, I discovered the true value of time assets.
Automating repetitive tasks became another game-changer. Instead of slogging through mundane activities that drained my time and creativity, I sought out tools and technologies that could streamline these processes. The initial investment of time and effort to set up automation systems paid off handsomely in the long run. As I watched my workload decrease and my productivity soar, I realised the power of compounding time assets.
This journey of balancing time assets and time debts has taught me a valuable lesson: time is the most precious resource we possess. Every decision we make either invests in our future or incurs a debt we must repay. By consciously choosing to invest in time assets, we can create a life filled with meaningful experiences, personal growth, and deep connections.
So, let’s heed the wisdom of James Clear's words and strive to make deliberate choices in managing our time. Embrace the notion that time assets are investments in ourselves, while time debts are expenses that deplete our most valuable resource. May we build a future that is abundant with time well spent and savour the rewards of a life lived intentionally.
In celebration of the 2023 Bundaberg Careers Expo, IMPACT Community Services is encouraging Bundaberg residents to stay up to date with upskilling and training opportunities by following our Facebook page ‘Training Bundaberg – Impact Community Services' for the opportunity to win a $50 WISH voucher (valid at a wide range of shops including Woolworths & Big W).
Winning is as easy as two simple steps!
Follow the Facebook page ‘Training Bundaberg – Impact Community Services’.
Leave a comment on the competition post answering the question ‘What training would you like to see available in Bundaberg?’*
The winner will be announced on Monday, May 29 via our Facebook page and contacted through messenger to arrange collection.
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"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses how the Pareto Principle - the 80/20 rule - can be applied to relationships.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As I navigate through the ebbs and flows of life, I've come to appreciate the Pareto Principle and its remarkable application in various aspects of our existence. Also known as the 80/20 rule, it suggests that roughly 80% of our results stem from 20% of our efforts. While this principle has long been associated with productivity and business, I've recently pondered its relevance in the realm of relationships.
In my own life, I've noticed that there is only a small handful of people who bring up those genuine feelings of happiness and contentment. These individuals, the cherished 20%, are the ones who leave an indelible mark on my heart. In no way does this mean that every moment with them brings me joy. We can have challenging conversations, arguments, differences of opinions. But there is no holding onto those moments, and instead within each of us is the ability to accept the good intentions of the other person and forgive and let go. We accept each other for who we are, warts and all.
Identifying these vital connections has been an eye-opening exercise. From my supportive husband, my parents and my closest friends, these relationships are my foundation. Unshakable, unwavering, supportive. Even on the worst day, I know that they will be there for me, teaching me the value of quality over quantity and the immeasurable impact a few genuine connections can have on one's life.
Now, as the calendar flips to a new month, I can't help but wonder if there's an opportunity to schedule some dedicated time with these special individuals. Life has a tendency to become hectic and overwhelming, often causing us to overlook those vital few. Perhaps we even take them for granted sometimes, forgetting that every relationship that is important to us must be nurtured.
It could be a date night with my husband, a coffee catch up with a friend or organising a family gathering to celebrate our shared experiences. By consciously carving out time in my schedule and intentionally dedicating it to my 20%, I am reinforcing the foundation of love and support that sustains me.
As I reflect on the Pareto Principle and its application to relationships, I'm reminded of the immense power we hold in our hands.
Who are the 20% of people who give you the most joy in your life? The people who love you unconditionally and do not expect anything in return. Is there an opportunity to schedule some time in with them this month?
By acknowledging and appreciating those select few, we can create a positive ripple effect that extends far beyond our own lives. So, let's seize the opportunity this month to reconnect with our 20%.
‘Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will say either ‘I wish I had’ or ‘I’m glad I did.’’ Zig Ziglar
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses her words of inspiration - stay humble, work hard, being kind.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Stay humble, work hard, be kind. Some words of inspiration that I found inscribed on a plaque that I bought in a $2 shop 10 years ago. I still have that plaque sitting on my desk at home, and every day make a commitment to doing each of them.
It’s funny what resonates with you. Sometimes it’s words of inspiration, sometimes it’s a place or an experience. Sometimes it’s the people we meet. On Friday, I interviewed two inspirational athletes, Ali Brigginshaw and Gretel Beuta. Two very different women joined by a united passion for sport and a focus on easing the path for female athletes. The experience was as much about learning about them as it was about learning about myself in that moment.
Ali is a leader in every sense. She has been advocating for female athletes since she was 10 years old and hopes that one day, she’ll get the opportunity to enjoy watching female athletes get paid what they are worth as professional athletes. Her vision is that gender will no longer be a barrier when it comes to negotiating how much an athlete should be paid. She spoke fondly about the influence of several people in her life, including the late Graham Murray who preached the values that Ali still lives by today - ‘Use your please and thank yous, be in uniform and be on time.’
Ali shared how she didn’t resonate with these words initially, however learnt that putting these three simple things into practice creates a positive ripple effect that quickly spreads into other areas of your life. It’s a powerful reminder that words are just words until we start putting them into action and living by them.
Gretel is softly spoken, calm and considered, and whip-smart. Turning her back on a college basketball scholarship in the US to remain close to family, she was passionate about health and nutrition and commenced a Nutrition and Dietetics degree at Griffith University. Now finished her degree and expecting baby number two, Gretel’s focus is on seeing what the future brings. She is loving the idea of finding out where her new degree will take her, and looking forward to spending more time with her husband and son as they await the birth of their next child and prepare to build their new home. Gretel openly welcomes the ebbs and flows of life, ready to confront and deal with the challenges as they come while always making time to celebrate the wins with her family and friends.
So what did I learn from this experience?
Knowing nothing and still going into that interview knowing nothing about these women would have been disrespectful. In the weeks leading up to the interview, I did loads of research to the point where they both felt like old friends. They genuinely valued this, thanking me for taking the time to do my research.
What an easy way this was to immediately build rapport and show respect for another person.
Lesson 1. It doesn’t matter how famous a person is (or isn’t), I must always remain humble by respecting and valuing a person’s time by doing some research on them beforehand.
I was nervous leading up to this interview and my inner critic went into overdrive reminding me that this type of gig was not my day job, and I had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately, I didn’t listen and instead chose to sit back and immerse myself in the experience. We were only three questions in, and suddenly one of the organisers was giving me the wind-up signal. Wait, I still have another eight questions – where did the time go? I was so engaged in the conversation that what felt like five minutes had been closer to 40! Under what I had perceived as a high level of stress I had been able to successfully achieve a state of flow!
Lesson 2. Has there been times when I have spoken to myself unkindly, and let opportunities pass by because of fear driving my lack of self-belief?
I often align competitiveness with type A behavioural types, expecting ambitious, organised and impatient tendencies to emerge at some point during a discussion. Meeting Gretel was a great reminder of how polarising this type casting can be, and how the environment and conditions can play a fundamental role in igniting the competitive flame within.
When mentioning this to Gretel, she simply said, ‘Oh, I get white line fever as soon as I step onto the court.’
For those interested in health and nutrition, you might like to check out the Health + Wellbeing Queensland, A Better Choice Conference and Expo 2023, where Gretel will be one of the conference speakers https://hw.qld.gov.au/abc-expo/
Lesson 3. Working hard for what you want can be successfully supported by practices that support us not to hold onto things so tightly that we lose our sense of self and purpose.
Stay humble, work hard, be kind.
Before the interview with Ali and Gretel, I thought those words of inspiration were about how my behaviour, the way that I turned up, would impact on others. Thanks to them, I now realise that those words and the ripple effect that’s created when I practice them also has a direct effect on me.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses celebrating mothers and maternal figures every day, not just on Mother's Day.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
The month of May is a beautiful time of year. The weather is starting to cool off, many of us have enjoyed a few mini breaks thanks to the abundance of public holidays throughout April and in the next few weeks some will recognise and celebrate the annual ritual, Mother’s Day.
Even though some may argue that Mother’s Day is just another over commercialised celebration, I would like to honour the importance of mothers and pause to recognise the influence that mothers have within our society.
Mothers are leaders, educators, mentors, and role models. They are essential contributors to our community and society as a whole. A mother’s role is an important one, nurturing and supporting, creating values within young people that will guide and support their future choices.
I have been so fortunate to have a mum who has been a stable, positive influence throughout my life. My experience has been special, and I recognise and acknowledge that it won’t have been the same for others. Mothers come in many different forms, not just biological. Adoptive mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, and other maternal figures all play vital roles in shaping the lives of children. There are also mothers who choose to be childless but still impact society in significant ways through their careers, volunteer work, and advocacy efforts.
Each of these women share a common purpose. Nurturing the qualities in young people that will support them to grow into independent, resilient, participating members of society. Encouraging them to use their voice, advocating for what they believe in and to protect the rights of others.
The ripple effect of a mother's influence in society is vast, therefore when mothers are empowered and supported, they can positively impact their families, communities, and even the world. Mothers who prioritise education, for example, often raise children who value learning and go on to make significant contributions to society. Mothers who advocate for social justice and equality help to create a more just and equitable world for their children and future generations.
As a mother of two, I get how hard it can be. Juggling work, kids, housework, sports and then you are supposed to find time out to take care of yourself. ‘Put your own oxygen mask on first before putting it on your children.’ How does that work when society expects that mothers will always put the needs of their children first?
Some mothers have recognised that bringing up kids requires a village. They know who their villagers are and have worked out how to ask for help from them when they need it. Others will overcommit to the point that they are so exhausted that they have nothing left to give. Collapsing in bed at the end of the day and expected to repeat it all again tomorrow. Others
There is no right formula to this motherhood thing – biology, feelings, maternal instinct, life experience. Nothing prepares you for the responsibility, nothing equips you for when the times get tough. What I know about being a mum is that most of the time we are just doing the best that we can. We make mistakes, we don’t have all the answers and we might even put ourselves first occasionally.
Mothers are human beings who deserve recognition and appreciation every day, not just on a designated holiday. By showing mothers appreciation and support throughout the year, we can help to create a more inclusive and supportive society where mothers can thrive and continue to make significant contributions.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the concept of holding things tightly, holding things lightly.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
Have you ever held onto an idea, goal, or belief so tightly that you’ve lost sight of the big picture? Enter the concept of holding things tightly, holding things lightly.
Before we explore this, grab a pen and take a seat. Extend your arm out in front of you, with your palm facing upwards and place the pen in your open palm. Now hold it tightly and notice how you feel. Open your palm and let the pen rest gently in your hand. Notice that you can move it around, watch as it gently moves with the motion of your body. Did you notice any difference in how you were feeling when holding the pen tightly compared to holding it lightly?
This concept is all about bringing awareness to those things or events that you might be consciously or unconsciously holding onto too tightly. Gripping onto it with all that you have, noticing tension build in your hand and your arm. Potentially that tension extends to other parts of your body – maybe your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. It can even manifest physically, causing symptoms such as muscle tightness, headaches and digestive issues. Sometimes we “grip” onto things so tightly that it can become a hindrance to our personal and professional growth. And sometimes, the inability to let things go can adversely impact on our physical and mental wellbeing.
Holding things tightly can create a sense of control, but it can also create feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. When we’re holding onto something tightly, we tend to be more reactive and defensive. We might jump in without taking a step back to assess the situation, and can become rigid in our thinking.
It can also cause a sense of tunnel vision, where we become so focused on one goal or situation that we can no longer see other opportunities around us.
In contrast, holding something lightly means we’re not attached to it. We can let go of our grip and allow things to flow naturally. Holding something lightly also means we are more comfortable with uncertainty and change. We are open to different perspectives and ideas, are less likely to become overwhelmed or reactive and can approach challenges with a more flexible and resilient mindset.
Could you be holding onto some things too tightly? Perhaps you have noticed feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, stress starting to creep in or are experiencing physical symptoms that are impacting your day-to-day life? If so, then it may be time to start loosening your grip and letting go.
Letting go can be challenging, but it’s essential for our personal and professional growth. One way to start letting go is to focus on being in the moment. Start by closing your eyes and focusing on your breath for a few minutes, noticing your thoughts and emotions and then letting them go. You might even like to visualise them floating away from you. This mindful action allows us to be present in the moment without judgement or attachment.
Another way to let go is to shift our perspective. Instead of focusing on what we’re holding onto, we can focus on what we gain by letting go. We can look for new opportunities, experiences and relationships that may not have been possible if we had continued to hold onto the past.
I encourage you to grab a pen whenever you notice that you might be holding onto something too tightly, hold it tight and then release it, reminding yourself what it feels like to hold it lightly. Now write down what you have been holding onto and remind yourself what life will look like once you let it go.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses freeing ourselves from the opinions of others.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
As human beings, it’s natural to care about what others think of us. We all want to be liked, accepted and respected, but sometimes we place too much weight on the opinions of others, and it can be easy to get caught up in the idea that other people’s opinions define us.
Of course, the depth of a relationship and potential for impact on our lives and influence how much we value someone’s opinion. But even then, it’s important to recognise that their opinion is just that – an opinion. It’s a perception, filtered through their own experiences, beliefs and expectations, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect the truth of who we are.
Despite knowing this, we often internalise these opinions and let them shape our own self-perception. We can become perfectionists, people pleasers, or hold our tongues to avoid conflict. We may change ourselves in response to criticism or let others make decisions for us.
But here’s the thing: we can’t control what other people think and feel. We can’t change their perceptions. What we can change is our own thoughts, feelings and perspectives. We can build self-esteem, set boundaries and be true to the path we want our lives to take.
It’s helpful to recognise when we care too much about what others think of us. Do you find yourself holding your tongue to avoid conflict, apologising even if you’ve done nothing wrong or struggling to say ‘no’? These are all signs you might be placing too much weight on other people’s opinions.
So, what can we do? We can accept that others will have opinions of us, and that some of those perceptions may be inaccurate. We can practice mindfulness techniques to lessen our worry over poor perceptions. We can consider the source of the opinion, and whether it’s worth placing value on.
Letting go of other people's opinions of us isn’t easy, especially when we’re wired to care about the opinions of others. It’s important to remember that we have the capacity to change our own thoughts and feelings, and while this process requires self-awareness, mindfulness and intentional effort, doing so can help you to live more authentically and confidently, free from the burden of living up to other people’s expectations.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses fostering human connections and a love of learning through board games such as Scrabble.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
I love to learn and find fun ways to connect with family and friends, and where possible try to combine the two. Introduced to card and board games at an early age by my Dad, I have taken this tradition into adult life. While celebrating National Scrabble Day (13 April) may seem a little geeky to some, I think that it is a great excuse to have some fun. I also believe that it is a great chance to pause, reflect and recognise how simple things like the humble Scrabble board can support humans to remain connected.
If you asked any of our IMPACT team what is the best way to support a person to open up and share, they would usually say ‘when we are out for a walk’ or ‘doing an art project’ or ‘driving in the car’. A safe space is created when people don’t feel the pressure to have to talk. Perhaps not even having to look directly into the eyes of the other person. Playing board games or doing arts and crafts are tools that we can use to support people to express themselves and share how they are feeling.
And sometimes, we even learn something along the way. There's something incredibly satisfying and confidence-building when we discover a new word that we can start to use in everyday life. Words like "quixotic" (extremely idealistic, unrealistic and impractical) and "zenith" (the time at which something is most powerful or successful) will score a significant number of points on a Scrabble board and can be easily incorporated into our vocabulary. Alternatively, you might want to take it up a level, and using a word like “oxyphenbutazone" may be more your style (while scoring a whopping 1,778 points along the way!)
Unless you are a diehard Scrabble enthusiast, the words and the points aren’t always the end goal. Sometimes relationships, friendships and support work requires a different approach. In an era where many of us spend a significant amount of time online or interacting through screens, Scrabble and other board games can be a powerful alternative for forming real human connections.
When you gather around a Scrabble board with others, you're engaging in a shared activity that requires focus, strategy, and communication. As you take turns playing tiles and discussing different moves, you're building relationships, establishing trust and encouraging connection and communication. Without even trying, you are learning about others - their personalities, interests, and perspectives, which can deepen your understanding and appreciation of them.
This sense of connection is particularly important in a world where online interactions can often feel impersonal or superficial. While social media and other digital platforms can be great for staying in touch with friends and family, they don't always provide the same level of intimacy and connection as face-to-face interactions. By contrast, playing board games such as Scrabble allows you to connect with others in a way that feels more authentic and meaningful. While also creating that safe space for people to share and process their thoughts and feelings.
The next time you're feeling disconnected from those around you, invite some friends or family members for a game of Scrabble. Please resist the urge to play online, and instead physically grab the board out from the cupboard, dust it off and get your group to gather around the kitchen table. You might be surprised at what you learn and how engaged and connected you start to feel with those around you.
"STRONGER TOGETHER" is a weekly column where Tanya explores key issues. This week Tanya discusses the benefits of keeping the holiday vibe alive in your day-to-day life.
By IMPACT Community Services Managing Director Tanya O'Shea
There is nothing quite like some time away to strip back the layers of stress and recharge our batteries. Recently returned from a two-week holiday in Tasmania, I took the opportunity to bask in my renewed energy and considered the conditions that my holiday vibe created that enabled me to feel an increased sense of calm.
A sense of deeper connection with those around me, having unscheduled time to explore and create, space to sit, relax and just be. Without any expectations of having to be anywhere or doing anything. Without constantly checking the time, emails, or voicemails.
Unfortunately, for many of us, holidays only come around one or two times a year and as a result, the benefits that we generate from this break can be relatively short-lived. Unless of course, we make a conscious decision to introduce that holiday vibe into our everyday life.
What would it take to create the optimal environment to bring those elements of your holiday to life during a regular week?
If you had an hour, could you read some of that book that has been on the coffee table, do a crossword, explore the rock pools at Barolin Rocks, catch up with a friend for a coffee, go for a bike ride from Bargara to Burnett Heads, walk around the Botanical Gardens or eat out at one of our amazing local restaurants?
If you had a spare day, could you visit one of our beautiful beaches, head out on the Lady Musgrave, take a hike up Mount Walsh or go for a swim at Utopia Falls?
While it is nice to get away, my recent holiday reminded me that I don’t need to be away from my home to create a holiday vibe. Nor do I have to spend a lot of money.
We live in one of the most beautiful places in Australia and have access to an amazing environment on our doorstep. Surrounded by beaches, parks and gardens, bike paths, restaurants and cafes, easy access to fresh fruit and vegetables, and spectacular weather! Each day, we have an opportunity to access parts of our environment for free, a beautiful environment that does not require you to be on a holiday to appreciate it.
Personally, I am a planner, so I remain connected to my holiday vide by ensuring that there are always things in my calendar to look forward to and be grateful for. Things that make me smile or create space to reset and remember the things that are most important to me.
What do you need to do to create your own holiday vibe? Perhaps it is planning regular weekend activities, scheduling time with friends or creating new routines that are aligned to your goals or values. Maybe it is doing some research to find out what is available in your local area.
Whatever it is, I hope that it is something that brings you joy and creates a vibe that consistently instils a sense of calm and gratitude, even when you’re not on holidays!
Please note: This website may contain references to, or feature images, videos, and voices of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have passed away.